The Extreme Moderate

Laughing with the Moon

2010-02-25T16:37:00.003-06:00

By Jonathan Bert

February 25, 2010

Moon, you can laugh, you're a quarter million miles away. I have to laugh to keep from crying.

Obama, what a disappointment. We needed someone with tremendous skill and intelligence to get us out of the mess the Bush bunch got us into, and we get this character that can screw up a wet dream. This dumb-ass was elected to reform the financial system, but instead of financial reform, he's spending all of his time on health care reform and pollution control while Wall Street is still getting seven figure bonuses and the middle class is broke. You stupid shit head, get the country running on all cylinders and back to prosperity, your popularity would be incredible, then nobody, from Maxine Watters to John Boner (did I spell that wrong?) would dare to step out of line when you push your pet programs. Obummer.

Now we have the "Tea Party." I guarantee you that these clowns are not drinking tea. Anybody that thinks dingbats like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann make sense must be smoking crack with their bourbon. And they believe the "Birthers." Hawaii might seem nice, but it is still part of the United States. Remember how pissed off the U.S. got when the Japs bombed it? Duh!

The Republican Party IS the party of "No!" No compassion, no integrity, no ideas.

The Democratic Party is the party of "Moe," as in Larry, Curly and Moe. And Moe government!

I am impressed with the dignity W is displaying in his time out of office. Dick Cheney, on the other hand, is still the bastard from hell. A leopard can't change his spots.

Car Insurance must be one hell of a racket. They're damn near the only businesses that can still afford to advertise!

The rest of the ads are from lawyers suing drug companies. That is why I only do drugs that are not FDA approved!

The cops in Murderapolis were braggin' that there were only 19 murders there last year. The thugs must have felt 'dissed, the murder rate is back to normal, with seven just in January.

Sarah Palin writes notes on her hand. Hey, ding-a-ling, you're not in junior high anymore.

Raul Emanuel shouldn't call people "Retards," Democrats are supposed to be politically correct. Rush Limbaugh shouldn't call people "Retards," without retards he wouldn't have an audience!

Bailout? Hell, the best thing to happen to General motors is Toyota. Honda is having trouble, too. I guess cheap Japanese crap is still cheap Japanese crap. Buy a Buick.

A killer whale killed one of it's trainers. Maybe now some of these morons will figure how these critters got their name.

Those boneheads from Idaho, (where else?), were supposed to save orphans in Haiti, but none of the 33 kids they grabbed were actually orphans! These people were up to something shady. I don't know what they had planned for the girls, but I think they were going to sell the little boys to priests.

Moon, I can't laugh anymore, I'm going to start crying. Your laughter just makes it hurt more. I'm going to send my pennies, (all three of them!), to NASA to help buy another rocket to shove up your dark side.

Hiding from the Moon

2009-12-07T16:18:00.002-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

December 2, 2009

Hello, Moon, I haven’t barked at you for a while, sorry. I know I promised to keep in touch; I’m not always the best at keeping promises. Just ask my ex-wife. It’s hard to get in the mood for typing during the brief Wisconsin summer.

Wisconsin has two seasons: Summer and Bummer.

I’m pretty disappointed with President Obama’s performance. I was so hoping he’d be great, the way Lincoln followed Buchanan. It’s more like Curly following Moe.

He needs to focus! Focus on what is needed now! He pulled our economy out of a freefall, (Thank You, Mr. President!), but great attention must be paid to getting the recovery moving. A jobless recovery isn’t a recovery: jobs have to be priority number one. W and his crew got this country sliding into third world status, the only thing that can stop it is getting this great country back to work! Either that or we’ll be digging for grub worms for lunch.

And then he’s got two wars to worry about. One is a true quagmire, and it seems like it is cooling for him. It was a war that shouldn’t have been started. Getting out of there will be much appreciated.

Afghanistan is a big problem. There isn’t any way out of there without us getting screwed. We have no way of winning this war without forming alliances with filthy warlords, which will, of course, turn around and bite us, or, let these warlords form alliances with the Taliban, which will, of course, lead to the end of life on Earth as we know it. Afghanistan is ruled by warlords, always has been, and will be for the foreseeable future.

We’ve got to quit worrying about what is happening in other countries so much. They will evolve! Remember, it was less than 200 years ago this country had slavery, was in the process of exterminating natives, and women here weren’t treated any better than they are in Saudi Arabia. Lead by example; don’t shove rockets down their throat. Our perfect union needs to be made more perfect, take the moral high ground here at home! Other countries will follow suit. It will be hard to promote human rights around the World when there are plenty of human wrongs still occurring here.

For one thing, let gays get married. I still don’t understand why they should be spared the misery.

In a case of outright genocide, such as in Darfur, maybe we should’ve gotten involved, but we didn’t. I guess Haliburton didn’t see any profit there.

Obama has to hang up his hopes of bipartisanship. The Republicans are doing nothing but obstruction, and what makes him think the same people that spent the previous eight years running the country into the ground have any good ideas? Hey Moe, what do you think I should do about Iraq?

A woman wants to skip out of the military to take care of her baby. Hey ladies, you wanted to have equal rights to kill strange people, now you’ve got it! And you know the military doesn’t like babies, they blow them up by the thousands!

Health care needs reform, has for decades, but Obama is wasting too much time, and too much of Congress’s time, trying to push it through in big hurry. You know damn well that if Congress is given a lot of time, they will screw things up. If they are rushed, they will screw it up worse!

I’m a big believer in letting states be the incubator of ideas. Let the states come up with solutions to health care, then adapt what works on a national level. You know damn well the 2,000 pages of garbage the U.S. Congress is pulling out of thin air is just going to give it to us in the wrong end.

The environment is an urgent problem, but there will be no solution if we’re burning the stubs from our unemployment checks for heat. Give it a rest, concentrate on getting the country back on it’s feet. I know the goobers that listen to Glenn Beck think the atmosphere reaches to the stars, when, relatively speaking, it’s as thin as an apple peel, but now, especially with allegations of “trick” data surfacing, it is not the time to push it.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! Just asked Tiger Woods. He lost his reputation and a couple of teeth.

Forget about Huckabee in 2012. He’s got a Willie Horton on steroids. I’m not a big fan of cops, but I don’t like to see them die. Just maim their arms so they can’t club you so hard.

Sarah Palin wrote a book. At least she dictated a book to someone that knows how to write. She’s sold more books than there are Republicans that can read.

Moon, I will write you another time, I’m sure. No promises this time. No promises made, no promises broken. And thank you for not throwing anything at me, those meteorites can leave a mark.

Barking at the Moon

2009-05-09T11:20:00.004-05:00

By Jonathan Bert

Moon, I’ve been a bad blogger. No posts for a month! I could give you a hundred lousy excuses, but I’m sure you’ve heard ‘em all.

A prominent moderate Senator switched from the Republican to the Democratic Party. Republicans are forcing any sign of moderation from their party. The shame is, politically, it might work for them. Democrats are profiting from embracing moderates, as their base isn’t loyal enough to carry them.

There still are only 99 Senators. The Minnesota race is going to a higher court, sure to go to another higher court or two. Franken is an extremist, and, should Coleman pull it off some how, he would be forced to the other extreme by his party. Franken most likely will be the winner, but moderation is sure to be the loser.

A friend was yelling at his cat. A neighbor called the cops on a domestic abuse. Nobody got abused until the cops came. The cops, among other things, threw a disabled woman to the floor. Justice is nasty in Polk County, Wisconsin. The cat survived unharmed.

A thirteen year old boy is refusing modern medical treatment for one of the most treatable cancers, due to his religious beliefs. He could choose to live, or try his luck with herbal remedies. Gotta wish the kid luck. If it works for him it would be fantastic. On the other hand, it might be a case of the stupid killing himself off before he could breed. Win, win either way.

Some bone head flew a copy of Air Force One over the Statue of Liberty, causing massive panic in this panic stricken World. For a photo opportunity! What, Photoshop isn’t good enough? Our government needs people that can think! Is this two administrations in row full of idiots?

I wonder if we’d be as worried about the journalist imprisoned in Iran if she wasn’t an exotic looking babe?

I have to part with my fellow moderates concerning the legalization of Marijuana. Pot is a little stronger than coffee, and slightly less addictive. It would be an estimated turnaround of 7 billion dollars if we taxed it instead of prohibiting it. A lot of the opposition is because smokers are afraid the quality of the product probably would decrease. Plus, making it legal would make it less fun.

I support gay marriage, but I am tired of watrching them kiss on the Evening News. Just let them get hitched and screw up their lives like straight people have been doing for centuries, and if anybody wants to watch the groom kiss the groom, they'll have to attend the ceremony.

Fishing season in Wisconsin! Time to catch and eat some cool, fresh, sea kittens. No broccoli to harvest here until September.

I celebrated a birthday a couple weeks ago. Didn't celebarate too hard, 56, whoopee. Yeah, let's celebrate bad knees, weak eyes and gray hair.

Sorry Moon, gotta go. I’ll be back next month, I promise.

Barking at the Moon

2009-04-09T18:00:00.000-05:00

By Jonathan Bert

April 9, 2009

Moon, life has been crazy lately, a new job, another move, and maybe a new band (I’ll be playin’ Bass). But don’t worry, I’ll always have time to bark at you.

A Minneapolis police officer shot a man eight times, supposedly in self-defense. However, the gun found near the suspect didn’t have any fingerprints or DNA on it, and the weapon’s last known location was the police evidence locker. Murderapolis is getting so bad even the cops are getting into the act.

Speaking of police, how about that Dallas cop that wouldn’t let that guy see his dying mother-in-law, the poor guys wife needed comfort, but her husband couldn’t be there because he was being harassed. Any law enforcement officers that wonder why they are called pigs should watch the tape of the incident, and wonder no more.

It is unfortunate that all cops are painted with the same brush. Quite a few of them actually are human, but quite a few more of them use their badge to play hard-ass. They must have gotten too many wedgies in junior high.

President Obama’s aunt is being deported. Should Barack pull strings to prevent this? If he does, you know that the Right wing assholes will bitch like hell, but if he doesn’t, most will consider him heartless. If he’s smart, he’ll talk his aunt into moving someplace nice, like the French Riviera. Who can bitch about that?

Volcanos are blowing all over the place, devastating earthquakes are shaking things up, Antarctic ice bridges are breaking up, and North Korea learned how to shoot a rocket. I sure am worried about those stray asteroids.

Obama just spent some time wooing foreign leaders, doing everything but literally kissing butts. The guys sure seemed to like him, but didn’t give him much as far as troops for Afghanistan or economic stimulus packages. Face it dude, playing nice guy didn’t work with the Republicans, and it ain’t working with the foreigners. Next time, try waterboarding them into submission.

Iowa’s laws against gay marriage were overturned. Iowa? You would think the clamor there would be for interspecies marriage.

March Madness is over, maybe because it’s fucking April.

Defense Secretary Gates decided we should arm ourselves for wars that we are actually fighting. This new administration is already proving itself smarter that the previous one. Six years, and the Bush-Cheney brainless trust didn’t even start to figure that one out.

Moon, light my way through these uncertain times, but don’t keep me awake, I need my sleep.

Obama’s Worst Report Card

2009-03-20T15:49:00.001-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

March 20, 2009

Every idiot blogger and turdball pundit has been grading our new President’s performance way before enough time has passed to make a truly fair assessment. Being an idiot blogger, and turdball pundit, myself, here is my unfair assessment:

The economy is job number one. Obama somehow drove our economy on a downhill slide years before he took office. Nothing the Bush administration did could slow Obama’s encouragement of the massive collection of “Toxic Assets” that our major financial institutions managed to own, and insure. Now, in the guise of a stimulus, he is giving these institutions more money, taxpayer dollars in fact, to mismanage. He must be given credit for saving the bonuses for the people running these firms. There are those that feel that the executives of the corporations that are being bailed out should be denied their millions of dollars in bonus cash just because they made a couple of little mistakes. Someone in Congress even tried to put a provision in the “bailout” bill to cancel these bonuses! But we can thank the Obama Administration, with the help of their friend, Senator Christopher Dodd, for eliminating this amendment, guaranteeing that these poor fellows will get their hard-earned wages. Obama also deserves an A+ for not giggling when talking about how “outraged” he is about these bonuses. On the down side, Obama is giving the unemployed more money, and extending the time they can collect Unemployment Insurance benefits. Any sensible person knows the best way to deal with unemployment is to let the unemployed starve to death, at which time they will no longer be unemployed. Overall, in dealing with the economy, Obama deserves a D-.

Foreign affairs are a big part of a President’s job. Of course, Obama is screwing this up. Instead of continuing a war against an enemy that posed little threat, he wants to wind that war down. And we haven’t finished the job there! Intelligence gathered during the Bush administration clearly showed that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction, but Obama is going to take our troops out of there before said weapons are found! Instead, he’s going to expand the war in Afghanistan, where our actual enemies are found, where 9/11 terrorists trained and had safe harbor! Any idea what a can of worms that would be? Fighting actual enemies? Bush had way more sense than that. He went after an easy target, which was pretty much contained by international forces, and was toppled quite easily. The fact that he stirred up some actual enemies is neither here nor there; his intentions were good. As far as terrorism goes, Obama is looking at the vulnerability of our infrastructure. Bush put all of his energy into protecting airports from further hijackings. Obama seems to think that his Muslim brethren might think of a new way to attack us, and that we might be open to assaults not involving airports! How ridiculous! On top of that, he wants to “talk” to Iran! Have meetings and discussions with the leaders of the pivot point of the “Axis of Evil.” It’s almost like he wants to “Dine with his enemies.” This sounds like something Jesus Christ would say! And, as is obvious to anybody familiar with modern American Christianity, you don’t pay any attention to what Christ said! This is why the biggest objection to this move comes from the heavily Christian extreme Right. On foreign affairs, Obama gets a D-.

When it comes to Cabinet appointments, Obama screwed up again! For Secretary of State, the person responsible for dealing with foreign leaders, he chose someone intelligent, knowledgeable, charming, and experienced in dealing with foreign leaders! He should have found someone incapable of independent thought, someone that does what she is told to do, and says what she is told to say, in a voice with the same pleasant sound as a dental drill. Like Condoleeza Rice! Other Cabinet positions he tried filling with people that got caught scamming on their taxes! He has got to fill these posts with people that are smart enough to scam their taxes with out getting caught! On his Cabinet, Obama gets a D-.

On domestic issues, Obama is screwing up again! One of his first acts as President, he signed a bill continuing the misguided effort to make women equal to men! Nature didn’t even make women equal, who does he think he is to argue with Nature? And then he makes an “Executive Order” to fund stem cell research. Instead of using the hundreds of thousands of unused embryos in an attempt to find cures for horrible diseases, we should stuff those unused embryos into welfare mothers eight or nine at a time! Obama deserves some credit, though, for proposing that injured veterans should let their private insurance pay to treat their injuries. These deadbeat vets think they can travel to a foreign country, get their legs blown off by an IED, then expect the Army to pay for it? How ridiculous! All the same, on the subject of domestic issues, Obama gets a D-.

I could go on and on, then go on and on some more, about how badly Obama has performed these first two months on the job, but I can’t, and I’m sure you can’t, stomach any more. So far, Obama has gotten five or six grades of D-, which averages a big, fat F.

So I conclude this most premature and unfair of all premature and unfair assessments of President Obama’s job performance. I expect a job offer from Fox News any minute.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Jonathan Bert

Barking at the Moon

2009-03-10T18:00:00.002-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

March 16, 2009

I screwed up this month. Somehow, I didn't get the scheduled publishing thing right, so this post is now 6 days late. It didn't get too stale, so I'm putting it out there now. Sorry Moon, I know you're at the last quarter, but I am only human. Gonna have to get my own Internet service sometime.

The World didn’t end in 2000, it didn’t end on June 6, 2006 (6/6/06), so now, for whatever odd reason, the magic number is 2012. In 2013 they will pick a new number. After living through scores of crackpot predictions, I’m going to make a few of my own.

After Obama’s first 100 days in office, pundits will figure out he has 1,361 days left.

Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is going to abandon politics and become a successful Television Evangelist.

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal will abandon politics to become the host of a children’s show.

The gene that causes homosexuality will be found and isolated, and fetuses will be screened for this gene. Most of those found with the gene will be aborted. The Right wing will be okay with this, as the right to life doesn’t extend to queers.

Physicists are trying to find the particle responsible for gravity. They’ve even named it, “Graviton.” This particle is responsible for the mass of everything from feathers to lead bricks, and they can’t find it. Some day one of these guys is going to see the forest through the trees and figure out that gravity isn’t a particle, it is probably a dimension. It will be called the “I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!” dimension.

After the economy totally tanks, and everybody is starving, young girls will abandon the “Crank Whore” look, because everyone will look that way. They will gobble down potatoes and lard to achieve the “Rosie O’Donnell” look.

Obama’s honeymoon is going to crash and his relationship with the populace will need major repair. He is reaching too far, too fast. He’s even promising a cure for Cancer! (A statement like that forgets that Cancer is not one disease, but a group of related diseases, one cure for all is unlikely, it will need several cures. Plural.) Eventually, it will be realized he is not a miracle worker. He will be a better President than W., but not a lot better; his inexperience is already showing. The only thing that is going to save his ass in 2012 is Republicans are failing to offer anything new, just more of the same crap that screwed up the country the past eight years.

Bernie Madoff will be convicted of ripping off investors of billions of dollars in a “Ponzi Scheme.” The judge will throw the book at him and sentence Nadoff to two years confinement in the Playboy Mansion.

A great Republican lie is that taxing incomes over $250,000 will discourage small business from hiring. Companies will look for deductions to keep their take home pay under that mark. Payroll and related expenses are deductible! Hiring people can slide them into a lower tax bracket! The only people that will get hurt are those that can’t “Get By” on $249,000.

HLN’s Nancy Grace will marry a great guy and find true happiness, thus ruining her career.

George W. Bush will follow in the footsteps of Jimmy Carter, John Quincy Adams, and others, by doing more good for planet Earth after his Presidency than during it. (Especially if he continues his efforts to improve the health situation in Africa.) If he just stops doing mass quantities of damage it would be a start.

Some day, a man will land on Mars. After he climbs down the ladder, the astronaut will say “One small step for a man, one giant heap of money blown.”

The Catholic Church, in an attempt to stop centuries of immoral behavior, will allow priests to marry altar boys.

Rush Limbaugh will receive medicine’s first reverse lobotomy, thus ruining his career.

Many fear Obama might fail. Morons like Limbaugh want him to fail. Limbaugh’s popularity will not drop; people that are stupid enough to listen to him now are too stupid to wise up, ever.

Obama and Nancy Pelosi will start butting heads. This will help save America! Power will shift to a coalition of moderates from both parties. However, this will require that not only Pelosi, but Harry Reid and John Boner (Did I spell that wrong?), et al, be made irrelevant. Please!

I see signs that the old John McCain is returning. He will be more instrumental in saving the country than he would have had he won last November. He doesn’t have to kiss-butt anymore, his seat in Arizona is pretty safe. He will be key to forming the above-mentioned coalition.

As the economy tanks, bank robberies will go up. The problem will be finding a bank that is still open.

The mother of octuplets is going to make a fortune off of books, movies and even a reality show. This will prompt other welfare moms to have nine.

A gang of fanatics will corner Dick Cheney and drive a wooden stake through his heart. Cheney will just laugh; he isn’t a vampire, he is more evil than that.

The Minnesota Senate race between Republican Norm Coleman and Democrat Al Franken will be settled before the 2014 elections. (Going out on a limb with that one.)

Republicans will figure out that anyone with half a brain isn’t going to buy their newfound respect for fiscal responsibility. After Reagan started mortgaging our future to give the rich money to “Trickle Down” and Bush Sr. followed suit even though he called it “Voodoo Economics,” there was a pause in deficit spending called “The Clinton Administration.” But then W. made up for lost time by setting deficit records almost every year he was in office. The Republican rebranding effort will involve selling the idea that deficit spending is a good thing, and that they are the masters.

Eventually the crybabies will get all of the airports closed down. The United States will build one huge airport in the middle of North Dakota where it won’t bother anyone. People will ride high-speed rail to and from other parts of the country, giving the crybabies something new to cry about.

Sarah Palin will run in the Republican Presidential primaries in 2012. She will, however, lose the nomination to Joe the Plumber.

The American economy will eventually recover. It will be debated whether the Democrat’s stimulus plan helped. All will agree that we’ll have one hell of a bill to pay.

The guy that correctly predicts the day the World ends won’t be around to gloat about it.

The Democrats will manage to outlaw guns. After violent crime against a defenseless populace skyrockets, they will be desperate for an excuse, and blame it on the full Moon.

The Grand Old Party is Over

2009-03-05T14:12:00.002-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

March 5, 2009

The Republican Party is in shambles, only the most delusional right wingers disagree. The worst part is that the party leadership thinks the solution is to go backwards, when they are already backwards enough. They all must be stealing Rush Limbaugh’s Oxycontins!

By my very subjective observation, there are more moderate Republicans than there are moderate Democrats, but the GOP in general persecutes their moderates mercilessly. John McCain got the nomination last fall, but only after standing there testifying how Republican he was, which instantly got him labeled as Bush III. The GOP has got to realize that their ideas have totally lost respect, but they want to continue with the same old ideas, only more so.

Take me to your leader. Who the hell is it? A fellow named Michael Steele was formally chosen as the leader, but a right wing radio “Shock Jock” is the real guy! Steele and Limbaugh butted heads, and it was Steele that blinked. What hope does the party have when the leader is a fat, pill-popping loudmouth? You can walk into any honky-tonk and find dozens of drunks that talk the same way, would you pray to them for guidance?

The first thing the party has to come to grips with is that, with all respects for the dead, Reagan sucked! He was a big disaster for this country. He came up with the “Trickle Down” economic theory, which is haunting us to this day. He ended fiscal responsibility in the Republican Party. He brought the “Moral Majority” into politics, even though, when you consider their disregard for the poor, they aren’t very moral, and by the numbers, aren’t anywhere near a majority. They are, however, very loud and annoying. And sexually obsessed, loaded with self-loathing gays and other perverts. Republican “values” have been found to be bankrupt. On top of that, he spent billions on a land based missile system that was obsolete before it left the drawing board. Then, when you think about the Iran-Contra deal, Reagan and his cronies probably should have been put behind bars.

Reagan’s big talent was using splendid oratory to lead the gullible down a primrose path while doing ungodly things to our country. Sound like Obama? Yes it does! The differences are a different primrose path, (there must be several of them), and I think Obama writes some of his own material. We have give the guy some time before we can assess Obama fairly, but Reagan, we know what he did. His damage was primarily ruining our economy and fouling up our foreign affairs. He is given credit for tearing down the Berlin Wall, but the Soviet Union self-destructed. Gotta give Ronny kudos for good timing, though.

If the GOP wants to go back, go back to the nineteen-fifties, to the last great Republican President. I like Ike. Eisenhower doesn’t get nearly the respect he deserves. The Democrats at the time tried painting Ike as unintelligent, mainly because they were putting an “Egghead” up against him. We’ve had eggheads before, and since, but none of them was very impressive.

Eisenhower was excellent. He was fiscally responsible, but smart! He spent billions on a system of “Interstate and Defense Highways” (we now call them Interstates), which were designed to evacuate cities quickly and to mobilize the National Guard, but had the plus of reducing air pollution and improving intestate commerce. Sound, sensible infrastructure spending. If Ike wasn’t brilliant, I don’t know who is. He wasn’t big on social issues, but back then nobody was. Even the Democrats didn’t care much about social issues until the sixties, (remember the “Dixiecrats?”). His foreign policy? “Don’t Mess With Us!” plain and simple, and he was strong and smart about it, not trying to find ways of funneling money to his buddies. And he did this with an opposing Congress! He warned us about the “Military-Industrial Complex,” but now the GOP is in the pocket of said complex!

The Republicans have to go back to being Republicans. Maybe they need another general. Can you imagine Tommy Franks apologizing to Rush Limbaugh? David Petraeus would send a mortar shell up Rush’s ass if Limbaugh messed with him. The GOP needs a real leader, not comic relief. Let us hope for the best.

I believe in the two party system, but right now we don’t have one. Either a new party emerges, or the GOP has to resurrect itself. Get back to actually practicing fiscal responsibility. Dump your phony “Family Values” crap and clean the perverts out of your system. Care about children after they are born. Fix yourself or we may be at the mercy of the extreme left for a long time.

Wah! (The Cry of the Dingbat)

2009-03-02T14:00:00.001-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

March 2, 2009

The Governor of Alaska, and former vice-presidential candidate, Sarah Palin is crying because the “Liberal Media” picked on her during last fall’s campaign. I am not liberal, but I picked on her then, and now I’m going to pick on her some more!

First thing to address is her claim that there is a lot of liberal media out there. Looking at the media, most are pretty fair and balanced, except those that claim to be fair and balanced, which are fronts for the right. Some print media leans to the Left, like the New Yorker, but as the New Yorker portrayed the Obamas as terrorists on one of their covers, even they can’t be said to be in the pockets of the left. Very little print media is right wing, unless they are willing to print a lot of pictures. The bumpkins of the extreme right aren’t heavy into reading. Talk radio is very right wing, fronted by Rush Limbaugh followed by hundreds of Limbaugh wannabes. Again, bumpkins don’t read. Television coverage does seem relatively balanced; but of course, we can’t forget Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, which is the bullhorn of the Right.

I agree, the media did kind of fall in love with Obama. In a land hungry for change, Obama clearly represented change. And being relatively unknown, heavy media coverage helped us to understand this complicated man, this man that wanted to run this country.

The problem is Sarah Palin is a Dingbat. She is not complicated at all. She always has been a dingbat, and she always will be a dingbat. She is proud of being a “Hockey Mom,” but if you ever met a hockey mom, you would not be impressed with their rational train of thought. She is a pit bull with lipstick, she hunts wolves from helicopters and calls it “Sport.” She thinks she can understand Russia because she can see it from her front porch. Her views on social issues are from the 19th century. Dingbat!

When Obama and McCain had their nominations sewed up, I still hadn’t made up my mind. I wanted to see who they picked for V-P. I’d liked McCain for a long time, he’d been the voice of moderation for decades, but I wasn’t impressed with the butt kissing he had done to get the nomination. I was hoping he would go back to being a voice of reason once he was free to do so. Obama was a scary choice. Inexperienced, and nobody knew a lot about him. He had held a statewide office for two years, and here he was, claiming to be ready to take the reins of the planet’s most powerful country. I needed to know more.

Obama picked Joe Biden, a solid choice. Biden is not any sort of moderate, but he is of sound mind, with vast knowledge of all of the issues facing this country, especially foreign affairs. This was important to me. One of my favorite quotations came from a “Dirty Harry” movie, “A good man knows his limitations.” Obama’s big limitation is foreign affairs, and he addressed this with his choice of Biden. His first decision as a candidate was excellent. (The choice of Biden, coupled with the choice of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State, makes the Obama administration rock solid in an area that Obama, personally, is weak. A good man, indeed, knows his limitations.) I am impressed.

McCain, on the other hand, disappointed me beyond any possible expectation. He chose Palin. A Governor for two years, this really tied Republican hands to paint Obama as inexperienced. A person with total disdain for rational thought, she proposed that dinosaurs roamed the Earth as recently as 5,000 years ago. If she was referring to her fellow Republicans, she would have had a point, but she wasn’t. She was referring to actual dinosaurs! McCain chose this backward bumpkin solely for her appeal to the backward bumpkins that got us in the mess we’re in in the first place! Her only accomplishment that she could point to proudly was killing the “Bridge to Nowhere,” showing that she does have more fiscal restraint than any Republican has had for 30 years. But generally, McCain’s choice was a disaster. He obviously was driven by his ambition, not his concern for the country. Why didn’t he just pick Paris Hilton?

Sorry John, but you lost because you abandoned those that loved you, moderates and independents. You tried to paint yourself as a maverick during the campaign, but your choice of Palin painted you as a butt-kisser. You probably could have been a good President, but you’re in a demographic that is capable of dropping dead, and the thought of President Palin made my sphincter pucker. More so, even, than the thought of a Democratic monopoly in Washington. (Where’s the antacid?)

So Sarah, get real. Any media source that says you are not a dingbat is biased toward bumpkins. Only the most stupid, backward and ignorant people on this the face of this Earth could look anybody straight in the eye and claim that you are capable of running the local PTA, much less a superpower. I wanted John McCain, the real John McCain, to win. But the real John McCain doesn’t exist anymore; he’s sold out to the extreme right. Sarah Palin is living proof.

Race in America

2009-02-23T12:43:00.002-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

February 23, 2009

Race in America. This is not about the Indianapolis 500. This is about a massive pain in the ass. Attorney General Eric Holder says we are cowards for not talking about race. Right wing pundit Britt Hume said that no one in their right mind would talk about race, the issue is too explosive. So what we need is someone that isn’t a coward, but not in their right mind, to talk frankly on the matter. Thus, I am qualified.

Why do we have to define people by their heritage? We are Americans! Not this kind of American, or that kind of American, or those kinds of Americans.

Labels are lies. I would be defined as White. Of Northern European heritage, living in a region where the Sun makes only rare visits, I’m about as pale as a human can get. However, I am not white, I’m kind of a light pinkish tan color. Goths have to use gallons of makeup to look genuinely white. White is a lie. I used to work with a guy that is as dark as a man can get. From a distance he does indeed looks black, but from less distance it is obvious he is not black, but a really dark, dark brown. Most “blacks” are obviously not black. Black is a lie. These labels are tools to keep us divided. These aren’t the only labels, there are labels for all kinds of heritages, and many of them are downright nasty. Why? To me, there are two kinds of people, the righteous and the assholes. We don’t need any more labels than that. If you insist on using the other labels, guess which label I’d put on you. Defining each other with labels keeps us at odds with each other, and feed our cultural differences.

A stupid cartoon is putting this issue in the headlines. It suggests a chimpanzee wrote the Stimulus Bill, and it is viewed as an insult to our new President. Al Sharpton is one of the people making the most noise about this. Normally I like Reverend Al, he is usually rational, and he has a terrific sense of humor. However, he is wrong this time. The reality is, Obama didn’t write this bill, Nancy Pelosi and her circle wrote it. The cartoonist even pointed this out. And I have to agree, Pelosi is about as smart as a chimp. Put the “Race Card” back in the deck, and try to keep it there. If one wanted to point out that the cartoon wasn’t very funny, he’d have a point.

There are bigots out there, a lot of them. And they come in all colors. Those that feel justified being bigots because of what somebody’s great-grandfather did to their great-grandfather are of the breed of asshole known as a bigot. If someone wants to label me an asshole, well, there are those of every color of the rainbow that will agree with them. If someone wants to label me a “Cracker” I will label them a bigot.

I once knew a “Self-Loathing Black.” He was half-African, but looked totally African. However, he had the same attitude about Africans as Jesse Helms. He was vicious! This man totally amazed me, and I tormented him unmercifully about his hatred. I hope he is doing well, and has softened his attitude. Poor guy really doesn’t have much of a place. Self-Loathing Gays have a home in the Republican Party, but where would this guy be welcome?

A lot of fuss is being made because our President looks African. “Did you think you’d live to see the day?” Yada, yada, yada. All I hope is that he does a good job; the cracker that came before him really screwed the place up.

A lot of my friends and acquaintances have Native American background. This issue is really complicated; yes, Europeans ripped off your ancestors, but most countries were formed by somebody’s ancestors ripping off somebody else’s ancestors. Reservations seem to have the same function as zoos, the only difference is that the subjects on display are humans. If I ever come up with, or encounter, a good plan on how to deal with “American Indians” you will see it here. Ideas are welcome.

Gender differences are another issue entirely. Women have caused me untold misery, but I still love them. I don’t think a good plan on how to deal with them will ever be encountered. Ideas are futile.

We have to let go of the past. We can’t forget it, or we won’t learn from it. However, we have to get rid of injustices that are occurring now! Affirmative action is not the answer. Reverse racism is racism. Get rid of it.

Education is a big part of the solution. The lack of education in the inner cities is a national problem; the idea of local financing of local schools is killing us. White bread suburban school districts have good teacher to student ratios, and the best technology available. Many still fail because of bad management, but in general it keeps the privileged, privileged. Even state by state differences vary the quality of education. Education is a national issue, it should be dealt with in national manner. “No Child Left Behind” is a joke. It makes schools that don’t have much money blow a bunch of money teaching kids how to take tests. If these tests tested kids the way they’ll be tested in real life, it might have a chance. But as there isn’t a big market for test takers, this program is a dud.

The best thing to solve the race issue is interracial breeding. Already people with backward minds have to watch what they say. You never know who had a beloved grandmother that was half minority. Klans will get smaller and smaller, because there will be fewer and fewer Americans of pure race. In the past, life was tougher on mixed race children, but as time moves on race will become a non-issue. I’m not saying to go knock someone up just because they’re a different color, but if you love someone that doesn’t look like the people in your family, don’t let race become an obstacle.

By the way, Eric Holder and Britt Hume can kiss my ass. I wouldn’t label either one as righteous.

I Feel So Stimulated!

2009-02-17T13:55:00.001-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

February 17, 2009

Today we get our new economic stimulus plan. Oh Boy! This is going to be good!

This bipartisan plan (it did get three Republican votes) is designed to give our economy a good kick-start toward prosperity. This stroke of genius will devalue our dollar, sell our banks to foreign interests, and drive our debt so high that our great-grandchildren won’t even get it paid off! Ain’t that swell? Excuse me, I have to look up “prosperity” in my dictionary, it seems I’ve had it wrong all these years.

Obama wanted support from Republicans, he wined them and dined them but then he let the Democratic leadership in the House write the damn thing. After years of getting pushed around by Bush and his extreme right cronies, the Democrats in the House are not in the mood for anything resembling bipartisanship. The Republicans are intransigent, being really sore losers, and after three decades they all of the sudden rediscovered fiscal responsibility! The parties are making this a showdown, gambling big. If the economy shows measurable improvement in two years, it’s a win for Democrats, and Republicans will be driven even closer to extinction. If the economy is still faltering two years from now, Obama might be dealing with a Republican Congress.

Our hope is that history repeats itself. It seems like Republicans get us into big economic messes, like the Depression (Hoover), the 1975 Recession (Nixon, Ford), the malaise of 1991-92 (Bush the Elder) and then get bailed out by Democrats. Another point is Buchanan, considered the worst President, was followed by the best, Lincoln. Bush the Junior is to be ranked right down there with Buchanan, Fillmore, et al, so maybe, if history is nice, Obama will turn out to be up there in skill with Lincoln, Roosevelt, and other leaders that got the country out of big messes. What is very scary about this particular disaster is that many Democrats in Congress, many still in Congress, were of great assistance to the GOP in creating the mortgage crisis, which has been the grease in this downhill slide.

So even if Obama is great, he still has to deal with a Congress full of idiots. Nancy Pelosi doesn’t even belong there, much less be there in a leadership position. On the other side of the aisle, we have John Boner (did I spell that wrong?), who is pretty much the same story. The Senate is in a very sad situation. There actually are some moderates in the Senate, but they tend to get kicked into the corner and forced to wear dunce hats.

The big problem is that American politics has been taken over by the stupid. The GOP has had big wins appealing to the backward and ignorant of the Deep South, rural areas, and places like Alaska. The Dems have their base among the undereducated of the inner cities. Anyone with an I.Q. North of the Mason-Dixon Line is left scratching his or her head trying to figure out who is the lesser of two evils. The problem is that there isn’t a lesser evil.

It has been demonstrated that the country runs best when power is divided. When Congress and the Presidency are in gridlock, they tend to do the least damage. Look at the last six years of Slick Willie’s terms. America ran like a well-oiled watch, at least until the GOP tormented Bill for liking women. How dare he! He should like men and little boys, like they do! Then you look at W’s first six, you get the definition of disaster. Not only did Republicans have control of the House, Senate and the White House, the Democrats showed their intestinal fortitude by caving at every reasonable opportunity. The past two years weren’t long enough to show much progress, mainly because the Republicans, being losers, did the best possible job of being pains in the ass.

Hopefully, very hopefully, this plan might work. The tax breaks will have a modest, but immediate effect. People building roads and bridges will not only be employed, but will eat at the local lunch counters. And the ripple effect will continue. The Art Community will employ artists, who will no longer have to work at the lunch counters, creating openings for unemployed youths. Other facets of the program also might create jobs. Ignore the whinings of the sore losers, there actually isn’t a whole lot of “Pork” in this bill. And the most attractive facet of this plan is that it is based on a “Trickle Up” theory, which is much more realistic than “Trickle Down.” Republicans seem to think that the money mongers are the power behind an economy, that thy will somehow direct the money in ways beneficial to the economy. Sorry Bozos, you really overrate your importance. The working class is the engine that drives our country. Republicans are short sighted; they like handing the money directly to the rich, which shows the general stupidity of the GOP. Get the money to middle class, and the money will get to the rich, even more money than if it’s handed directly to them, it just requires a little patience. That is because the middle class is equally stupid, because they will spend their money at Wal Mart, Best Buy and other “Big Box” stores rather than the local markets, destroying any hope of anybody of their class achieving the American Dream.

If it seems like foreign economies are being treated as if they don’t matter, well they don’t, at least not much. They need us more than we need them, for the time being.

So hang on. We are in a tailspin. Will we pull out of it? Will we make a graceful splash in the Hudson? Or will we land flat? Pray for the best. There are no atheists in foxholes.

Yapping at the Moon

2009-02-09T18:00:00.000-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

February 9, 2009

Moon, these are wonderful days for me. I am gonna yap at you like a wound up miniature dachshund!

After years of well deserved hacking at Republicans, it is time for change! Now that Republicans are almost as extinct as the other dinosaurs, we have a new group to bash, Democrats!
Reaching for that pie in the sky, the left wingers can’t concentrate on real world solutions. We need a job creation program, but those boneheads can’t let a good program come into being without cluttering it up with everybody’s pet projects. 0.8 means you are drunk, and having 0.8 trillion at their disposal makes these loonies stupid drunk! How is a program that prevents sexually transmitted diseases going to create jobs? If nobody catches the Clap, we won’t need nurses giving out Penicillin shots. Jobs lost. Thank the Republicans for gettin’ rid of this one.

I do believe in putting money into alternative energy. Remember last summer? We paid $4 for a gallon of gasoline, and now we have no money. Get the connection?

Donald Trump says we’re not using our brains in protecting our country. Duh! If Obama wants to change anything, change that. Find somebody that can figure out his or her taxes, for a start.

After two years of talking change, Obama is filling his Cabinet with privileged insiders. Sounds more like same old, same old. Where’s the change?

The right still believes in tax cuts. We’ve had tax cuts! They don’t work for shit! Their effect is immediate, but very weak. Very little bang for the buck. Republicans are slow learners, they can’t learn from history. We need history books with more pictures.

The new Chairman of the Republican Party says bipartisanship is over-rated. Did I mention that Republicans are slow learners?

A big deal is being made that the stimulus package received no Republican votes in the House. About 30 GOP House members considered voting for the plan, but were extorted to vote against it. Like the other dinosaurs, Republicans have brains the size of walnuts.

Republican leaders in the Senate claim that Obama’s stimulus plan will lead to disaster. Better listen, these guys are very skilled at engineering disasters.

It seems like every time they refer to recessions of the past, not to mention the Depression, Republicans were in power at the time. We have to find somebody that can draw pictures of economic disasters for a lesson book for the GOP.

Dick Cheney claims that reading people their rights is putting America in danger. America is all about rights! People’s rights are the foundation of our country! Forget about human rights and you forget about America! How many ways can this be said? Cheney, you Dick, just crawl into a hole and shut up. Despite the damage you’ve done, you still have the right to speak. Please don’t. I would leave Republicans alone if they would just sit in the corner and face reality! They lost any semblance of power in this country because they are massive screw-ups!

Anybody that wants to promote compromise should watch how their representatives in Congress act in the next two years, when the House members, and a third of Senators, come up for re-election. Unload John Boehner and Nancy Pelosi ASAP!

Pelosi is letting power get to her head. She should quit being so stupid or she might be selling pencils two years from now.

I drove over the 35W bridge in Minneapolis just days before it collapsed. Didn’t know I was cheating death. Bridges all across the country are going bad, and not enough of the billions are allotted to fix this; instead, this major league problem is getting a drop in the bucket. Bridge building creates a lot of quality jobs, and in hard hit sectors of the market. And insist on American steel. Not only is this good for the American economy, America knows how to make steel. Chinese and Japanese steel is crap. I’m a machinist, I know steel.

If you’re going to make tax cuts, don’t make them without direction. Give companies tax credits for hiring. Give consumers tax credits for buying cars, and houses (a good Republican idea. They do exist.)

The Democrats are funding the health program for children with a cigarette tax, but the “Stimulus” contains a smoking cessation program. They’re counting on one or the other to fail. What else in their plans is set up to fail?

The first bill Obama signed into law was to make women’s pay equal to men’s pay. As ideologically laudable the principle, is that what we need now? Making it more expensive to keep people employed? Pie-in-the-Sky. As noted by others, he didn’t allow five days for public comment, as promised.

Somebody should tell Rush Limbaugh every good American, Democrat, Republican, or whatever, wants Obama to succeed. Anyone that wants the country to go further down the tubes just to prove himself right might as well join Al-Qaeda.

Limbaugh has 20 million listeners; some of them actually take him seriously! Further evidence that the American educational system is failing. Brains the size of walnuts.

A Catholic bishop denies that 6 million Jews were gassed by Nazis during the 1930’s and 40’s. He has a point. 6 million Jews died, but a lot of them were shot, drowned, or failed to survive ghastly medical experiments. Most of those that expired during the construction of V-1 and V-2 missiles succumbed to fumes from welding galvanized metal; can that be considered gassed?

The Nazis also killed disabled people, including gays. Gypsy’s, blacks, etc., those guys just couldn’t run out of reasons to make people dead. Loads of evidence, bodies and bones included, support the existence of the Holocaust. Even Nazis proudly admitted it as the nooses tightened. This bishop wants you to accept Catholicism solely on faith, but he won’t accept the Holocaust in the face of tons (literally, tons) of evidence. I’d keep an eye on this guy when he’s around altar boys. There is a lot of evidence that buggering children is a bad thing.

The Catholic Church failed it’s Christian duty during the Nazi era. I guess it is hard to break tradition; it is still failing it’s Christian duty.

The Governor of Illinois got the boot. He proclaims his innocence in the face of overwhelming evidence against him. He has the full support of Catholic bishops.

Some people are making a stink because Jessica Simpson put on a couple of pounds. With eating disorders among young women nearly a pandemic, this behavior is incomprehensible. Jessica still looks hot. Besides, she’s a singer, not a supermodel. And she doesn’t wear silly hats.

After Michael Phelps won 8 medals in Beijing, he went for some Acapulco gold.

PETA is using scantily clad young women to make broccoli look sexy. Or are they using broccoli to make scantily clad young women look inedible?

These same characters are trying to make us feel all warm and fuzzy about fish by calling them “Sea Kittens.” Put one of these folks in the water with a 15-foot great white sea kitten and see who’s who on the food chain. Actually, sharks usually take a taste of a human and spit it out, kind of like broccoli.

An Airbus made an emergency landing in New York’s Hudson River due to engine failure. Bird remains have been found in both of the plane’s engines. Of course they are no longer birds, they’re now known as “Air Puppies.”

Now we have to watch out for infected peanut butter, from Georgia. What did Jimmy Carter have to do with this?

One lady had survived two forms of Cancer, and was ready to come home from the hospital, but she was finished off by bad peanut butter. I’m going to stick with sea kittens.

People in the disaster areas of Kentucky and Missouri, etc., are advised not to eat the peanut butter in their emergency rations. Nice choices, starve to death or die gagging.

The government says it is going to take steps to prevent bad food from entering our country’s markets. I thought they were always doing that, but it turns out that the FDA was protecting food producers from dying consumers. It makes sense. This is the same outfit that protects the producers of anti-depressants from the families of users that commit suicide.

China is suffering it’s worst drought in half a century. America grows a lot of food. This is a tremendous opportunity to relieve some of our trade deficit. But our food supply must be trustworthy. We have a better chance of making broccoli look sexy.

A 93-year-old World War II vet froze to death in his Michigan home after the local electric company limited his power. Don’t you just love deregulation?

Unregulated free markets don’t work, Socialism doesn’t work, the only thing that will work is a free market with strong government oversight. Then we need a government with strong voter oversight. Then we need voters educated by someone more rational than Rush Limbaugh. We have a better chance of making scantily clad young women look inedible.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? Don’t know, they’re still using whale oil lamps.

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? Ain’t gonna happen. They talk change, but they seem happy with the old, burnt out bulb.

Sorry, Moon. Unlike a miniature dachshund, I can’t yap forever. Good night, try to get some sleep now.

We Are All Nuts

2009-02-03T14:38:00.002-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

February 3, 2008

An eight-year-old girl answers the door to greet Santa Clause, and gets shot in the face. She soon dies. Santa proceeds to kill eight more, then himself. A three-year-old goes missing, is found dead months later. She was murdered, presumably by her own mother. A man in Australia throws his four-year-old daughter off a bridge; she plunges 190 feet to her death. A Vice-President and his puppet use falsified intelligence to get the country into a war we have no business fighting, killing hundreds of thousands of people, including 5,000 of our own. Millions of Americans are consuming tons of drugs and gallons of alcohol to feel good when feeling good is tough to do. I could go on and on forever, these are just a few sad examples.

Are these people criminal or insane? Everybody tries to draw a line between the two, and courts try to make a legal definition that still relies on the opinion of “experts.” The problem is that the Human species has not developed sanity. I don’t think we ever will. We are all nuts, some just a little crazy, and some totally whacko; it’s just a matter of degree. Murder is considered the most heinous crime; anyone that commits murder has to be playing with less than a full deck. Nazis are some of history’s most notorious murderers, did they impress anyone as being fully rational? They were consumed by hatred, twisted, boiling hatred. They were hanged, and they deserved it. Or did they? Maybe they should’ve gotten treatment. Hell no. It’s too bad we couldn’t hang the devils twice.

One thing that might help crazy people is to let them know they are far from alone. Anybody that claims that they never wanted to wring somebody’s neck is most likely lying. Nothing causes stress and despair like feeling alone. If somebody says something crazy, don’t make as if they have an incurable disease, talk them down, tell them they don’t have to do what the dog says. Tell them how you deal with your own crazy thoughts. If you think none of your thoughts are crazy, you have a problem, and need immediate help. If you take anything Rush Limbaugh says seriously, for example, you need to be permanently incarcerated.

Instead of a system of prisons and mental institutions, with “experts” determining who goes where, we need prisons, prisons with the ability to deal with mental health issues. Judges would set a minimum sentence, with the condition that the offender be declared “safe” before release.

So let’s not try to make a distinction between criminal and insane. Treat them all like criminals, or treat them all like nuts. Anybody can shop around and find an “expert” that will declare them insane, and prosecutors can find “experts” that will declare them sane. Psychiatry is not a precise art, simply because the difference between a sound mind and one that isn’t so sound is a very gray area. So relax, have a drink, maybe smoke a joint, and tell the dog he’s talking shit.

i luv txt

2009-01-26T15:46:00.001-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

January 26,2009

Do not read or send text messages while driving. Other than that, text away! What a fantastic method of communication; the impact of text is far reaching.

Once a person gets acquainted with text, the obvious advantages are convenience; you read and respond to text when you want to, no digging for ringing phones, and efficiency; text often works in places phone calls don’t. Also, if someone sends you a phone number, you end up with the number right on your phone, no need to search for pen and paper.

Less obvious is text’s potential to improve the English language. English is a mixture of several other languages, and has all kinds of weird rules and exceptions to rules, making things much more difficult than they need to be. English has slowly evolved over the years, but improvement has met resistance from anal-retentive types. I remember a newspaper column titled “Our Lively Language”, but the writer’s apparent mission was to make English as dead as Latin. And there are thousands like her. People that freak out if you put “I” before “E” after “C.” Why not just “I” before “E?” A much easier rule to reinforce. Just a few years ago, my child brought home a textbook that said plow was spelled plough! Maybe in jolly old England, but not in 20th century America! At that time, I had to explain that, on occasion, real life is different than what school tries to tell you. A tough but important lesson. If you ever used the word plough, people would wonder what pluff is. Or is it a ploff? Plew? Ploe? It’s the 21st century now, we need 21st century language.

I think text will speed up the process of making English more user friendly. Some of the habits developed during texting will spread to everyday use. Unnecessary letters will be discarded. Dumb will lose the dumb “B” and just be dum. Abbreviations will be bountiful, without a period in sight! Apostrophe? Wuts an apostrophe? The anal-retentive will lose control of their sphincters! (Sphincter will always be spelled sphincter.) Don’t like it? Tuff!

It does appear English is already compact; when looking at instructions in multiple languages, the English paragraph is frequently shortest. It can still be made more efficient. American English is already vastly different from pluperfect Queen’s English, and that is a good thing. The most powerful country in the history of the World should have it’s own language. The English don’t like change, Americans thrive on change; and figuring out how things should be spelled is a good change. Texting might help other languages, too. Do you think texters in France use the silent X? Do Germans capitalize every noun when they text? I have no idea how the Chinese text.

I butcher English with pleasure. If I butcher facts, I feel bad, I like to be factual. But English needs some serious surgery. So text, text, txt, and have a good nite.

It Ain’t Nigger Day!

2009-01-14T15:05:00.003-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

January 14, 2009

Thursday, January 15th, will be the 80th anniversary of the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr. The following Monday, the 19th, will be celebrated as a national holiday through most of the United States. Too many people fail to understand the importance of this day.

A doctor of theology, King is thought of as a black leader. To most, a black leader is thought of as someone taking every advantage of a photo opportunity, playing the race card even when it doesn’t belong in the deck. America is sick of these people; they even lose respect for the movement. Dr. King wasn’t a black leader. Yes, he was black, and he certainly was a leader; but he was a leader for all of humankind. There are other leaders like him; however, none of them manage to get the airtime the self promoters receive.

King had a message for every man, woman and child on this planet: love one another, echoing the sentiments of other great leaders. He didn’t just advance the black race, he advanced the human race. His principles of love and non-violent resistance have been expoused by the greatest of history’s leaders. They need to be repeated, often, and he repeated them at a time they really needed to be heard.

There may be those that disagree, but I don’t feel a desire for brotherhood is immoderate.

Should you hear someone refer to the upcoming holiday as “Nigger Day”, you are listening to the voice of someone that doesn’t understand how much American society improves every day that we take a step toward achieving Dr. Kings dream. It should be pointed out that niggers are imaginary beings, created not by God, nor Satan; they exist only in the minds of weak and frightened men.

So take this day to remember that once in while there are those born to us that make this great country greater. And maybe observe a moment of silence to think about what we lost that day in Memphis.

“I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become reality. I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word. “

Barking at the Moon

2009-01-10T17:00:00.001-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

January 10, 2009

How do you spell relief? This is the last Moon to look upon us as ruled by George Bush and friends. Next Moon we will have a new President. Contrary to popular belief, Obama cannot and will not walk on water, but we will no longer need hip waders to walk through the bullshit coming out of the White House. I guarantee that Obama will be much more honest with us than Dick Cheney and his Muppet, W.

We are in deep trouble. Congress and two Presidents are trying to figure out how bail out our economy. It’s like trying to bail out the Titanic with an ice cream bucket.

Car companies are in trouble, but car insurance companies must be making money hand over fist! How can they save us so much money when they are spending multiple millions on advertising? I’m sick of it. I almost miss the political ads. Do you smell some sort of racket?

Another racket is those guys that want to buy your old gold jewelry, etc. You will get screwed. Take your stuff to some legitimate jewelers to find the best deal.

This year, for a New Years resolution, I decided to try something achievable! I swore to become an alcoholic! But, as usual, I’m failing. One beer doesn’t qualify.

I might go back to smoking a lot of Pot, but then...uh, what was I talking about?

Osama bin Laden is a genius. An evil genius, but a genius all the same. All he needed was one attack, then let Bush use fear and hatred as tools to start stripping us of our American rights. America is about our constitution, not about flags. Face it, compared to almost any other country, we are safe, our greatest danger is paranoia. Big Brother is alive and well and must be stopped.

Bill Richardson withdrew his nomination as Commerce Secretary because of some questions about a campaign contributor. I really, really hope everything is on the up and up. I have respected Richardson as an honest and rational man for a long time. If he turns out to be dirty, I will lose all faith.

George Bush the senior thinks his son Jeb should be President. I think the Bush’s should practice birth control. Let’s send them all gift certificates from Planned Parenthood.

The comedy of the Minnesota Senate race is crawling to the finish. Democrat Al Franken has been certified the winner over Republican Norm Coleman by 225 votes. But there will be court challenges, likely followed by more court challenges. Too bad they can’t both lose.

I’m a long-suffering Minnesota Vikings fan. All Viking fans deserve the title of long-suffering. I’m surrounded by Packers fans, so I suffer more.

One of the most dangerous situations to be dealt with is in Pakistan. Al-Quaida has a good foothold there, with plenty of friends and hiding places. The government is weak, and has minimal control over the Army. Pakistan is primarily Muslim, and has frequent conflicts with neighboring India, which is Hindu. Both countries have nuclear arms. Nobody involved likes us a whole lot, so our ability to broker peace is nil. Moon, please tell me everything will be okay.

The Moon is silent, as always. It will be a morning crescent as it watches us usher in a new era in America. Obama is intelligent, with a heart of gold, similar credentials to Jimmy Carter. Carter tended to be paralyzed by indecision. We can’t have indecisiveness now. We need quick work to regain our respect and power in the World, to get our priorities back in order, to return to true American values.

Forgive me Moon if my bark is a little timid tonight.

Let’s Rethink Our Position on Israel

2009-01-06T12:33:00.002-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

January 6, 2009

The Palestinian fundamentalist group Hamas sends rockets into Israel, killing four. Israel responds by bombing the hell out of Gaza Strip, killing hundreds, wounding thousands, many of them Hamas soldiers, but too many women and children. More rockets follow, more heavy handed responses, etc., etc., et fucking cetera.

Neither side is doing what is needed to end this strife. Duh! The question is, why is the U. S. picking sides? While it’s hard not to sympathize with the desire of Jews to have a place where they are safe from extermination, the current American policy of Israel right or wrong has to end. Israel is apparently operating with a “Little Man Complex” that blinds them to any hope of any solution. Yes, the residents of the Gaza are, for the most part, impoverished and ignorant, but all the same, many are rational enough to not want themselves or their loved ones incinerated.

There is a faction of Palestinians that are secular, and wish for peace. Israel’s nasty response is very discouraging to this effort, and is actually making this group look like idiots. Fatah is irrelevant, and any effort on attaining peace hinges on encouraging support for them, not blowing them up!

American policy has to become more realistic and rational. The Bush administration has been good at fooling the religious fundamentalists in this country into believing that they have a heart and a soul, using hot button social issues such as abortion and gay rights. Obama and his bunch need to rethink our policies, promote the principles of love and peace. We can’t support the current Israeli government any more than we can support Hamas. Our efforts must be centered on bolstering President Abbas and his Fatah party. So far, it isn’t looking good. Obama talks about change, but doesn’t sound like he has the intestinal fortitude to make change. This is the same attitude that brought Kennedy to escalate the “police action” in Viet Nam that was in it’s infancy when he took office. We all know how that went. Disaster. Now, thirty years after that ignoble defeat, Viet Nam is a tourist trap! The “Domino Theory” didn’t pan out, we should have just left the bad guys beat up each other instead of trying to sell us on the idea that some of the bad guys are good.

In the Gaza Strip conflict, there are good guys! While Abbas and Fatah aren’t gold plated good guys, by Muslim standards they are surprisingly rational and peace loving. Our blind support of Israel is damaging to peace. It has been for decades. It will be a slow process, but if Israel doesn’t help Palestinians with a desire for peace gain a foothold on power, eventually whacko powers of the Muslim world will get more seriously involved, and the rockets hitting Israel will be nuclear tipped. It will be Obama’s responsibility to help point this out, instead of supporting massive retaliation. France, remember them? The guys we should have listened to in 2003? They want Israel to chill out for 48 hours. 48 hours! Two stinkin’ days! And Israel refuses, claiming that Hamas will re-arm if they back off for a minute. Have they no brain? Do they not understand that their attacks are exactly what the insurgents need to garner sympathy and gain recruits? They have done exactly the same thing before, with poor results. I’m beginning to think Israelis are slooow learners.

Israel is wrong, and the United States has to make this clear to Israel’s current government in no uncertain terms. Palestinians must be rewarded for supporting Fatah, bring Fatah to the table and show the people the pathway to peace. Get food, medicine and other basic needs to the residents of Gaza and give the credit to Abbas and company. Hamas was elected because of Israel’s persecution. Israel exists largely through American support, let the World know we can no longer support the mindless murder of innocents. Israel’s militaristic government was elected by the people, with confidence that U. S. support would continue no matter what lunacy the paranoiacs they elected did. Our next President talks a good talk; does he have the guts to walk it?

Crying for the Sun

2008-12-23T15:27:00.003-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

December 23, 2008

Winter is rarely a pleasant experience here in Wisconsin. This one is starting out terribly. It’s bad through the whole country, so it’s extra ugly here. The North Pole is getting warmer because it is sending it’s cold to Cheddarland.

The good news is that the Sun is coming back north! Last Sunday, December 21st, was the solstice, the Earth angled away from the Sun as far as it goes, and is now angling back. It will be a while before we see or feel a difference, but it is a reason for celebration. Historians contend that this event has been celebrated ever since the cave people first figured it out.

Some early societies considered the Sun a deity. You wouldn’t dare mention to them that it is just one of a zillion stars, and a rather puny one at that. It wasn’t that long ago, relatively speaking, that people were imprisoned or even executed for uttering such blasphemy. But it is my Sun, puny as it is, and I love it, and I am delighted that it is now headed home to me.

Apparently many of the holidays and holy days this time of year are linked to the solstice, whether anybody wants to admit it or not. These holidays are beautiful, and give cheer at a time when cheer is hard to find. I not only enjoy nativity scenes, Christmas lights, and New Years parties, but also Menorahs and other “decorations” of all the cultures and religions in this country. Atheists, instead of trying to ban all of these good times, should just figure out how to join the party! People that belong to religions that don’t allow a good party still have to be somewhat happy that light and warmth are returning; and if they don’t want anybody to whoop and holler about it, well maybe these folks should get a life.

A nasty winter is the last thing our struggling economy needs. Snow and ice are literally paralyzing. Heat sucks up a lot of consumer and business dollars, with a big portion of the money going overseas. Construction slows through most of the country, as does home sales, car sales, etc. It does help industries that provide goods and services that help us survive, and even attempt to enjoy, this mess, but not enough to offset the disaster it inflicts on everybody else. Overall, winter sucks!

Patience. In just a few months our toes will defrost. The butter on the counter will be softer than the butter in the ‘fridge. Skating will move indoors, and fishermen will no longer be able to walk on the water, and will start using boats. Spring and summer will return, bringing long days and warm nights. With a little luck they might bring some prosperity.

Put America Back to Work!

2008-12-15T15:46:00.001-06:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

December 15, 2008

I am sick of bailouts and loans for big businesses. This is still following the “Trickle Down” ideas from the Reagan years, and the middle class has suffered for decades because of this backward economic principle. We have got to reverse gears, get the money to flow up!

America needs jobs! While the little guys would love have money handed to them, like it is being handed to big financial firms, and soon to big car companies, most are very willing to work for it. Give Americans a regular paycheck and they will pay their bills, and buy new stuff. In a consumer driven economy, keep the consumer behind the wheel. Giving big business free money will just give them a license to keep their foot on the middle class’ throat.

Not that a lot of the middle class didn’t bring this treatment upon themselves. Reagan was the guy that figured out that if you get the ignorant among us frothing at the mouth over issues like gay marriage and abortion you could shove the screws up our butts and still get praised as great leaders.

Hey, the Democrats can fix this, they’ve always fought for the little guy! Say what? They want to shove billions to the big screw-ups instead of using the money for job creation? Do we have any friends? Don’t answer, I don’t want to hear it. We might also remember how much responsibility Democrats have for some of the trade agreements that shipped millions of jobs out of the country, with the crazy idea that we could compete with countries that don’t have OSHA and where trade unionists are shot. What would these guys do with a brain if they had one?

Franklin Roosevelt pulled us out of the Great Depression by putting America to work. Now, with all of our money going to bail out the big screws, can a job program be funded? Can we create a job program without big corporate interests demanding their cut?

Our new President will have to be strong, real strong, to do what’s needed to put America back to work, while making the bigwigs realize it will be good for them, too. Otherwise, we will witness the fall of the Great American Empire.

Barking at the Moon

2008-12-12T13:18:00.007-06:00

By Jonathan Bert

The Extreme Moderate

December 12, 2008

The Moon is getting full again and I’m in the mood to bark.

I just moved, only seven miles, but it was still a pain in the ass. After living in the same place for 10 years, I’ve moved 3 times in the past year and a half. The way the job market is going my next move might be to a cardboard box.

America needs jobs. The Democrats are thinking like Republicans, bailing out the bigwigs instead of helping the little guys find jobs. People with jobs will pay their mortgages, pay their credit card bills, and buy new cars. These multi-billion dollar bailouts won’t do a damn thing. They want to give the car companies big loans, but they will still lay off thousands! That’s going backwards! Now the Republicans are looking good because they know a bad idea when they see one.

The Dems have a majority in the Senate, but it’s not filibuster proof. Hopefully everyone realizes what a blessing that is.

Illinois’ Governor just got busted for trying to auction off a Senate appointment! And there are other high power Democrats getting indicted. I might have to change my motto to Democrats are Crooks and Republicans are Clowns, or, let’s face it, they are all crooked clowns!

I’m trying to meet women that don’t drink, in Wisconsin. Do you know what that’s called? Lonely.

People in Wisconsin drink a lot so they can put up with the Packers.

NBC is going to move Jay Leno to 9 PM (Central Time). I need to be humored after the evening news.

Remember when people used to like Ladybugs?

A military jet crashed into a house killing two women and two children. F-18’s are fine machines, but they have no business flying over residential neighborhoods. Not in this country, anyway.

Gas prices are going down so now the SUV’s and overpowered pick-up trucks are coming out of the woodwork. I’m getting the impression Americans are slooow learners.

Winter is here in Wisconsin. Hell must be a cold place, nothing makes me feel more God-forsaken than a forty below wind chill.

New Mexico is losing a great Governor. Obama better put him to good use and not do what Bush did, ripping off Tommy Thompson then telling him to keep quiet.

I’m tired of barking. I’m gonna go out and bite somebody. Don’t worry, I’ve had my shots.

Howling at the Moon

2008-11-14T16:42:00.002-06:00

by Jonathan Bert

November 14. 2008

This month we can howl at the Moon with joy! It's over! No more negative political ads! At least for now.

America chose "Not Ready to Lead" over "Erratic." Let us hope Mr. Obama is ready to lead, he has heck of a mess to fix. The good news: he is gonna be better than W., just for the simple fact that nobody can be worse.

Obama is going to throw money at our problems, just like a typical Democrat. Wait, Republicans are doing that now, too. How much of the $700 billion bailout money did you get?

Obama jokes are coming out in force; some are funny, all are tasteless.

Some people want Sarah Palin to run, and win, the Presidency in 2012. Some people wanted a ticket on the Titanic in 1912.

Democrats have a lot of control now, with majorities in the House and Senate, plus the White House. Let us hope they use this power responsibly and not pass a bunch of crazy nonsense.

Republicans still have the ability to filibuster. Let us hope they use this power responsibly and be more than just a pain in the ass.

California outlawed Gay Marriage with a referendum. Gays are furious! I am actually concerned that they may tell their mothers!

Mormons were heavy movers in the anti-gay movement. Hah! They can only marry one person, gays can't marry nobody! Pricks.

Gays don't know what they're being saved from. Half of all marriages end in divorce, and most of the other half is miserable. Really f**king sacred.

Hillary for Secretary of State! She'd make a great secretary, she's already got the ass for it.

Oh, I forgot, her ass is named Bill.

Man, I am ornery rather than being filled with joy. Must be thinking ahead to the mid-term elections. Yuck. I'm outta here.

The Minnesota Senate Race

2008-10-29T15:54:00.003-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

October 29, 2008

The Minnesota Senate race is one of the most watched electoral contests in the country, and sittin’ here in Northwest Wisconsin, I got a front row seat!

This three ring circus is a prime example of one of the biggest problems confronting our Democracy; the major parties are offering sub-par candidates, and the independent and third party folks are totally outspent, making their chances of victory very slim. Poor Minnesota is gonna get a shit sandwich without bread. The candidates cranking out negative ads one after the other is mind boggling and getting totally out of hand.

Incumbent Norm Coleman drifts with the wind. He started out as a Democratic mayor, became a Republican mayor, lost a gubernatorial race to a professional wrestler, then beat a last minute replacement offered by the Democrats for a Senate seat. When Coleman first entered the senate, he was one of W’s favorite lap dogs, but as Bush’s popularity waned, he’s taken a much more moderate path, and has actually been doing a decent job. He still supports the Iraq War, which has lost moderate support, but he is doing better than most Republicans on such things as the environment and health care. He is reliably anti-abortion. Can he be trusted to stay within striking distance of center? His history says probably not. Plus he loves the hell out of lobbyists. Many questions linger over his relationships with representatives of special interests.

Democrat Al Franken will never act like a moderate. He is left wing at all opportunities; his extremism strongly resembling Ted Kennedy’s. He has questions too. He paid taxes to the wrong states over a period of years. Overall, he was paid up, just had to get the money to the right jurisdictions. Then there is an issue with Franken’s corporation failing to cover it’s employees with workman’s compensation insurance. Is this guy some sort of slick shyster or is he just totally ignorant of financial law? Which is a better quality for a senator? People are crying about Franken’s humor. I’ve told a lot of bad jokes myself, and I’m sure you have, too. Get real.

There is an Independent party candidate. Dean Barkley is fairly moderate, socially progressive with some fiscal responsibility. He is seen favorably by almost everyone that has a clue who he is, and is currently polling a strong 18% with no real advertising budget. He was a senator, briefly, appointed by Jesse Ventura to fill the late Paul Wellstone’s seat until Coleman’s inauguration. Barkley is about as colorful as pavement.

So it is a lose, lose, lose situation. Does Minnesota re-elect the shape-shifting opportunist? Or do they elect the left wing clown? Do we want the Senate to be filibuster proof? Or do we want to let the Republicans continue to grind the Senate to a halt? All the while the independent candidate doesn’t have a prayer because hardly anybody knows he exists. Which eye do you want the sharp stick in?

P.S.: Anybody from Minnesota’s 6th district reading this? Get rid of Michelle Bachmann. She is a bigger embarrassment to the state than the Vikings!

Howling at the Moon

2008-10-14T16:42:00.001-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

October 14, 2008

The Moon is full again, and this month I really gotta howl.

I am supporting Obama for President. This is scary, a Democratic President over what is sure to be a Democratic Congress. A McCain Presidency wouldn’t be bad, we’d just have to hope to high heaven that he lives to fill his term.

Just imagine, if McCain gets elected, and either passes away or decides not to run for a second term, we could see Sarah Palin vs. Hillary Clinton in 2012!

I wonder, would the campaigns get more negative every 4 weeks?

I am normally against capital punishment, but people that pass you on the road and then go slower than you were going in the first place makes me reconsider.

Obama has a better plan for the economy. McCain’s plan is still based on the old, and never worked, trickle down theory. Obama’s plan is more rise up theory.

Bailout! What a dumb idea! Talk about rewarding screw-ups. This will really give bankers a sense of responsibility. Not. We could help retirees and other little people a lot cheaper than giving welfare to unscrupulous lending institutions. McCain and Obama both blew this one.

Anybody remember we are at war? It amazes me, that subject got thrown on the back burner so quickly, like it wasn’t an unnecessary drain on the economy itself. Oh, by the way, people are still dying.

Republicans can’t win. The big news went from their bungling of the war to their bungling of the economy. Where’s Paris Hilton when they need her?

Three states now recognize Gay Marriage. I wonder if it should be left at that for a while just to see what happens. Will it create more, or reduce, domestic abuse? Child custody cases in 47 states aren’t even debatable in gay dissolutions. What will happen in the other 3? Let’s make sure it’s a good thing before we make gay marriage law in all 50.

Even with all this howling, I haven’t vented enough. But I have to leave; Animal Control is coming after me. Good night.

What’s Wrong With Moderates?

2008-10-06T10:09:00.001-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

October 6, 2008

I look at polls and try to divine what moderate opinion is. This is not an exact science, and you are all welcome to disagree, but if you chose polls carefully, use polls that display what questions were asked and who was asked, and they appear designed to get an accurate answer, the pulse of moderation can be found.

By looking at polls that get extreme responses, I’ve determined that the extreme right and it’s sympathizers are about 31% of the voting population, and the left wing and their ilk are about 29%. In the middle are people, over a third, that could be described as moderate.

The problem is that there isn’t a moderate platform. Moderate opinion can vary widely. Not all possible positions have a gray area, so we have to chose either black or white, and we don’t always go in the same direction. Some of us lean to the right, and some lean left, without falling into the extremes.

Most, but not all, moderates are against gun control. Most, but not all, are for gay rights. Etc., etc., etc. Capital punishment? Split right down the middle. We don’t like taxes, but don’t like spending money we don’t have like we had a stolen credit card, (the current Republican strategy.) We prefer a right to abortion, but not without limits, (please see my post of July 2, 2008). How can we get exited? How could we possibly form a platform? We just can’t. All we can do is choose between ignorant, frothing at the mouth right wingers or over intellectual, bleeding-heart left wingers. Which is the least evil this week?

I am sorry to say, but we moderates are really, really lame. We don’t have the wherewithal to decide if the glass is half empty or half full. We are the most tormented, the least represented, but the largest group of voters in the country! But we have no hate. If we have any anger, it’s without direction. We have no platform to rally around. We are just a bunch of defeated wimps.

So go ahead and vote for the least evil this November. There may be a good independent candidate out there, try it. He/she may not have a chance, but if you help get him/her over 5%, he/she and his/her party will get some money and recognition.

It just plain appears that until man grows a third testicle the middle won’t have any balls. Let us hang our heads in shame for being lame-ass wimps.

The World Looks Flat in Alaska

2008-09-22T18:56:00.001-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

September 22, 2008

Assaults on the separation of church and state are continually being made by the extreme right, and has been a cornerstone of Republican support since the Reagan administration. This matter is an important issue now that we have a Vice Presidential candidate that was picked largely for her appeal to the extreme religious right.

Hey, all of you flag raisers out there; separation of church and state created this great country! Ever hear of the Pilgrims? Probably the most famous of the early settlers from Europe. They were Christians! Fleeing other Christians! How about the Spanish Inquisition? Some of the most horrible torture devices of history were created by the Catholic Church. There is a reason that the time religion ruled Europe is known as the Dark Ages. Religion in power has never ever been a good idea. Holy Crusades. Those were a good idea. Not. Christian lunatics attacking Muslim lunatics. There are still some nasty grudges being held. You can’t even say crusade in the wrong company. Now most of the countries that are giving us problems are ruled or influenced by religious lunatics. Holding a holy grudge.

There are six billion people on this planet, with six billion religious philosophies. Christians, Jews, Muslims. They all worship the God of Abraham. Why can’t they get along? Because everybody has a snobbery about their beliefs, and even small differences in opinion is a sign of ignorance. Or evil. Label someone as evil and they are dead meat. Ask any drowned witch. Religion in power has always resulted in bloodshed and sorrow.

Who’s religion do you want to rule the country? Why yours, of course. What if someone with a different philosophy took over? Maybe a little different, maybe a lot different. The country still will not be run the way you want it. What if they want you to think just like them? And you don’t want to think just like them? Bloodshed and sorrow.

Power corrupts. Look at how many TV evangelists turn out to be nothing but con artists. Which one do you trust enough to run the country? Yeah, right. There is a sucker born every minute, and all you have to do is thump on a Bible and utter the name of God, cash just comes rolling in. It’s so easy. A very attractive racket. Attractive to anyone with a silver tongue and a taste for easy money. What kind of people do the gullible suckers that buy this snake oil launch into power? Example #1: George W. Bush. If that isn’t enough to scare you, what will? Sarah Palin, Maybe?

Studying polling, it appears most moderates in this country are Christian, and there are moderate members of other major religions. There are even moderate Muslims. However, few moderates appear to make strict, literal interpretations of their holy writings. Many moderate Christians also believe in evolution. If you have all of time in the Universe, why create the Universe in a week? But to people who aren’t so rational, we had dinosaurs roamin’ around just a few years ago. Sarah Palin is one of them. How would you like somebody that backward to be the next President after the next? John McCain is 72 and has severe health issues. McCain disgraced himself, doing exactly what he has accused others of doing, putting winning the election above what is good for the country. A man who once was a favorite among moderates just made himself Public Enemy #1. Once a believer in the Constitution, he now believes Karl Rove.

Democrats also make their assaults on the Constitution, with attacks on gun rights and free speech, but those aren’t likely to get anybody burned at the stake.

Screaming at the Moon

2008-09-15T18:34:00.002-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

September 15, 2008

The Moon beckons me to scream, and there isn’t any shortage of things to scream about. Let’s start with the U. S. Presidential race.

John McCain, a former moderate, is pulling out all stops to get elected. He has abandoned any sign of moderation in an effort to appease the extreme right. Scream.

You could search the Ozarks for a lifetime and not find a hillbilly more backward than his VP pick. The former beauty queen likes to hunt moose, and if she sees a stray dinosaur she’d probably plug that too.

McCain is 72 and has been treated several times for a deadly cancer. Sarah Palin would be the most stupidly extreme President in our history. Do the math.

Barack Obama would be almost as bad, but not quite. He’s extreme but not as stupid. I have to endorse him as the lesser of two evils.

Why, John, why have you forsaken us? There is no way you could seriously consider that pit bull in lipstick good for the country.

I’ve never been an alcoholic, but that may change.

Third party and independent candidates don’t have a chance, and even they aren’t all that pretty. There is no denying that Ralph Nader is insane.

Gotta face it, the cars in this race are a bunch of smoke blowing Edsels.

Another subject, please.

The deadly train crash in California appears to have been caused by an engineer that was text messaging. The stupid tend to take themselves out, too bad he took 23 others with him.

Anybody that thinks privatizing Social Security may be a good idea, take a look at the privatized Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac. Privatizing SS is just another Republican plot to shovel money to their buddies. Working people would get it up the dark side.

Federal laws encourage health institutions to dump excess drugs into the sewage system, where they can get into the environment and deform frogs and probably us. Chalk another one up to the right wing anti-drug movement.

Democrats will take more taxes out of your paycheck. With Republicans running the economy, you don't get a paycheck!

I’ve been screaming so much I’ve gotten hoarse. Count Dracula. The Mummy. Sarah Palin. Think about them then try getting some sleep. Good night.

Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right (And Three Lefts Means You’re Lost)

2008-09-03T17:21:00.003-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

September 3, 2008

Affirmative Action is in the news. Barack Obama's wife, Michelle, has been blowing mass quantities of smoke out of her behind, and doing a mass quantity of whining,
Affirmative Action being among the subjects of her belly-aching.

I am against discrimination in all forms, whether it’s racial, gender, creed, national origin or orientation. For this reason, I am against Affirmative Action. Any law or program that says you can’t have this job, you can’t enter this college, you can’t rent this house, because you are this or you aren’t that, is discrimination. Some people call it “Reverse Discrimination,” but it’s not. It’s just plain discrimination!

Two wrongs don’t make a right; didn’t your mother teach you that? Discrimination is bad, and still occurs, against minorities and women, etc. I wish I knew how to end it, but Affirmative Action is not the answer, it may even cause more hatred and resentment! And hatred and resentment are what we’re trying to get rid of!

One of the most stupid things to come out of this train of thought is relaxation of rules to become a firefighter. A restriction requiring that a firefighter be able to carry someone out of a burning building was struck down because it discriminated against women. Firefighters sometimes have to carry people out of burning buildings, but if your ass ever needs saving, you may be out of luck because your firefighter doesn’t need to! And the stupid thing is, many women are plenty strong enough to do the job, and a lot of guys aren’t. Maybe, on average, women are not as strong, but, to be honest, there are some women I will not lip off to.

When I was a young man, so many decades ago, a black doctor was amazing. He had to fight terrible odds and had to have extreme dedication and talent to make it. Now, you see a black doctor, you’re not sure he even qualified for medical school. That’s progress? Woman doctors, same story.

I travel all sides of the tracks, it makes life more interesting, and have met people that are as fine and upstanding as people can get, and am proud to know them. But I’ve also met people that are so fucked up they have a hard time standing up, they are just feelin’ fine. Law enforcers and criminals. Law enforcers that are criminals. People are so different it boggles the mind how varied the thought processes and behaviors of members of our species are. And it all has nothing to do with race, etc. Gender, maybe. There are organic differences between men and women. This plays out well for the preservation of the human race, (Viva la Difference!), but as far as law goes, this can get sketchy. Things like drug use, chemical exposure in the workplace, etc, for people that are, or may become, pregnant, must be addressed. It is a very special responsibility women have. It ain’t my fault! Okay, a few times, it was my fault.

We need to end discrimination, for the sake of our country, for the sake of our species. I wish I had the answers, but definitely, Affirmative Action is not the way to do it.

Barking at the Moon

2008-08-16T11:41:00.004-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

August 16,2008

The Moon is full, and I just want to howl.

It is hard to fathom the importance of the Olympics to international diplomacy, but other than the Basketball, I really couldn’t care less.

I kind of like watching Women’s Volleyball, but the participants need larger breasts.

China wants to join the rest of the World. I have one word of advice: Democracy!

The Republicans want to regain power in this country. I have one word of advice: Democracy!

The GOP does have the best solution to the illegal immigration problem, however; make America suck so badly nobody wants to come here! It won’t be long and we’ll be breaking down the fences to sneak into Mexico.

The Republicans have this country going in the wrong direction. The Democrats would also send us in the wrong direction, but at least it would be a different wrong direction.

The Republicans appeal to the ignorant and superstitious hillbillies of the “Bible Belt.” The Democrats appeal to the undereducated of the inner cities. Anyone with half of a brain can only appeal for mercy.

Russian Prime Minister Putin sent an enormous army into a small and defenseless country. What nerve! Who does he think he is? George Bush?

Rush Limbaugh just got a huge raise. The Right Wing is desperate to keep the stupid in line, and Limbaugh has the same power over morons as the Pied Piper had on rats.

I have two cats. There are days that I’d rather have mice.

I see a lot of women driving big trucks and SUV’s around. These ladies suffer from low self-esteem; they think they need that power to haul their asses around.

Barrack Obama says the best way to reduce our dependence on foreign oil is to reduce our dependence on oil. Duh! Republicans find this concept too complicated to grasp, and find this to be a reason to criticize Obama! Of course the Right Wing morons are foaming at the mouth, chanting “Drill, Drill, Drill, so we can use more Gas, Gas, Gas!”

All of the oil we’ve sucked out of the ground was holding up the bedrock above it. I’m waiting for the Saudi Arabian Desert to cave in and become the Saudi Arabian Sea. That would get rid of some terrorists!

Texas, same story. Texas can brag that it’s America’s biggest lake.

Before W invaded Afghanistan, Afghans produced 75% of the Worlds Heroin. Now they produce only 83%! Good going George! Republicans have the overwhelming support of the World’s crime leaders. The GOP makes sure drugs stay illegal to make sure criminals have a steady income. Ordinary, hard working citizens? Screw them.

While the War in Iraq is doing nothing for American security, it is making Israel safer, and freer to pursue aggression against it’s enemies in the Mid-east. This never gets pointed out, however, because the Democrats don’t want say anything good about the war, and the Republicans don’t want to point that out because the Neo-nazis are a small but important part of the Republican base.

During their recent stretch of power, Republicans managed to really piss me off. If the Democrats manage to not blow their chance at getting control, it won’t take long for them to piss me off. Keep your eyes open for future posts.

Good night, sleep well. Werewolves aren’t for real. However, Bush and Cheney are for real, so stare at the ceiling.

A Guide to the Twin Cities of Minnesota

2008-08-05T12:28:00.002-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

August 5, 2008

The Republican National Convention is coming to Minnesota! As a native of the area, (I was born in St. Paul, and have never lived more than an hour away), I’m going to depart from my extreme moderate ranting to give you a guide that you may find handier than the bullshit that will be handed out in brochures. St. Paul and Minneapolis are called the Twin Cities, but they are not identical twins. It’s hard to believe that they are from the same family.

Minneapolis is a small, but very metropolitan, city. It has a vibrant downtown, beautiful, tree lined residential areas, but, like any other large city, there are places you do not want to go. It is easy to find your way around, even though the downtown area is laid out at an angle. The Downtown is always this clean, and fairly safe. There is a bounty of good food and entertainment. There are lakes and parks everywhere you turn. If you like cities, this one is a gem. But watch out, don’t wander to the north. North Minneapolis and the first tier suburbs to the north are like pustules on a super-model. This is the area that earned the nickname “Murderapolis.” It is by far the most crime-ridden area in the whole state. The only legitimate reason to go to North Minneapolis is to look for crack. Other drugs are also available, including Oxycontin! Prostitutes? Well, yes, but you bozos have money, so pick those up downtown. Another thing to note: if you are not lily white, avoid Minneapolis cops, no matter what part of town you are in, or you will be sorry.

St. Paul, on the other hand, is an overgrown small town. Quaint, quiet for it’s size, loaded with beautiful old architecture, it has the refreshing, friendly atmosphere of a town one tenth it’s size. But you will get lost. St. Paul’s streets were laid out by paving crews following cows. Major thoroughfares just end without any clue which way to turn. The only roads that go all the way through town are the interstates. Walking, driving, taking the bus, allow extra time for getting lost, and, if driving, allow much more time to find parking. Is your cab driver running up the bill, or is he lost? There’s no way of telling. While you are lost, you may find yourself in neighborhoods that make your skin crawl, but there’s no particular area where you will be in grave danger. Unless you get so lost you find yourself in North Minneapolis. Also, avoid the Highway 52 bridge. This was a lemon when it was built. It’s been patched up more than a hippie’s blue jeans. I can’t believe it has stood longer than the 35W bridge. I don’t believe it will stand much longer. St. Paul is the home of the beautiful Como Park Zoo and Conservatory. Fascinating and inexpensive, it’s a don’t miss. Ask for directions.

And then there are the suburbs. Minnesota is full of cranky, independent people, and hundreds of them grabbed chunks of land around the cities and gave them names. Other than the first tier to the north, they are nice places, and very Republican. Just to the west of Minneapolis is a lake named Minnetonka. This lake is surrounded by high dollar settlements that are like a Mecca for those that worship money. When at the Xcel Center, the home of the convention, bow directly to the west. To the north of St. Paul is a community called North Oaks. This was a gated community before there were gated communities. You will never get away with going door-to-door for contributions here, though. Even Cheney would get hauled in.

There are too many suburbs here to cover in one lifetime. Bloomington has the Mall of America and the Airport. Shakopee has the Valley Fair amusement park. Apple Valley has the big Minnesota Zoo. Blaine has the huge International Sports Complex. Newport has the Waste to Energy Incinerator. It’s all here folks, and you are coming at a time the weather may be decent. Welcome to you all. Even W.

Beware of Killer Tomatoes!

2008-07-28T10:46:00.002-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

July 28, 2008

Tomatoes are coming! They are out for blood! Oh, excuse me, maybe it’s killer jalapenos. Whatever, something’s tryin’ to kill us. Last year it was spinach, maybe broccoli will be next. When your kids don’t want to eat their vegetables, they might have a point.

That freak out warning devastated the tomato industry. Farmers plowed their crops into the ground. As if the economy wasn’t bad enough, now we have a big loss in the agricultural sector. For nothing.

Health “experts” are constantly trying to tell us what’s good for us, and fresh veggies are always on top of the list. But when was the last time you heard of a killer rib-eye? I like fresh veggies, (with a lot of Ranch), but if you cook stuff, you won’t get E. Coli, Salmonella, etc.

Eggs used to be awful, now they’re not so bad. Butter has cholesterol, so eat margarine. No! Wait! Margarine has hydrogenated oil! Eat dirt. I’d get the impression these people knew what they were talking about if they knew what they were talking about.

If you see a health expert on TV, you will see they are not that old. You don’t see a 90-year-old nutritionist. J. I. Rodale only lived to 70. Euell Gibbons didn’t live to a ripe old age, (apparently wild hickory nuts aren’t the key to eternal life). That guy that promoted running for health dropped dead at 44. I’ve made it past that myself!

After listening to these experts, I’ve become convinced that if you don’t eat anything, don’t drink anything, and quit breathing, you will live forever. Then I think of people I know that have quit these things, and it’s amazing! They have all moved on to a better place! Maybe the crazies have a point! But I love to eat, I get thirsty, and I find strange comfort in breathing. Maybe some day I’ll get the willpower to quit doing that stuff so I can move on to a better place, but meanwhile I’ll just have to muddle along here in Wisconsin.

Seriously, it does make sense to pay some attention to what you eat. But instead of freaking out every time a so-called expert says this or that is good or bad for your health, take advice from people that have actually lived a long time. Eat a lot of “roughage.” Take a shot or two of brandy before bedtime. Eat something green everyday, (I don’t think this includes grasshoppers). An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Walk, (don’t run), one mile every day. Etc, etc. If you know a really old person, ask them what they did to get so damn old. And cook your jalapenos.

Is Fairness in the Media Possible?

2008-07-22T14:57:00.001-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

July 22,2008

There is a mass quantity of whining coming from the Republican camp that the national news media is being unfair in it’s coverage of the presumptive Presidential candidates. The numbers bear this out. Obama is getting over twice the airtime McCain is getting on network news, and papers are the same story.

Now this isn’t a conscious effort to get the Democrat elected. No way. Remember, these organizations, the media outlets, are owned and operated by millionaires, people that like Republicans very much. Republicans make the rich get richer. Fox News, for example, has a well known and much deserved reputation for it's lean to the right. They were the loudest in trumpeting Bush’s line of crap that got us into Iraq.

The GOP is just going to have to face it; Barrack Obama is better television. He is a fresh face, photogenic, charismatic, offering new ideas at a time when the old ways aren’t working. McCain is not a fresh face. He’s been around a long time, getting a reputation as an also-ran. Poor guy, he finally gets his moment in the spotlight, and people are tired of looking at him. Outside of an initiative on the environment, his line is the plain old Republican line; trickle down economics, war over diplomacy, safety over civil liberties. America is sick of Republicans, and deservedly so. They have been lousy at running the country, and most of the country doesn’t want to hear any more of it.

McCain didn’t help things himself. He made a big, big deal out of it that Obama hadn’t visited Iraq lately, and Afghanistan never. Like there are things to discover sitting in “Green Zones” that can’t be learned from reports shipped over by people in the trenches. Okay, Obama is visiting Iraq and Afghanistan, so the media is making a big, big deal of it. Are we all happy now?

The Republicans are just going to have to face it; John McCain is old news, the Republican Party is old news. Just sit in your rocking chairs and quit your whinin’.

How Are We Going to Power the Future?

2008-07-21T17:17:00.000-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

July 21, 2008

We are in an energy crisis; there is no question about this. Left, right, or center, we all agree we’re screwed. But, of course, there is big disagreement over what to do about it.

To the left, we have Al Gore. To anybody who doesn’t know who he is, he is very much a Democrat, and was once elected President, but wasn’t allowed to serve. His plan is geared more towards environmental protection, but his belief in the reliance on renewable energy is compatible with energy independence.

To the right, we have T. Boone Pickens. A billionaire oilman that spent a lot of money to help elect Bush in 2004. He is seriously into wind energy, and making use of America’s natural gas resources.

Either way, wind energy is a winner. We have wind energy being generated, profitably, as you read this. We need more. Environmentalists cry that these windmills are tough on birds, but there is a certain point, probably a long time ago, where you can’t take these folks too seriously. I like birds, and have had several parakeets as pets over the years, but we are in a crisis! Get a grip! They forget how tough coal fired plants can be on birds.

Natural Gas. Unlike oil, we have a lot of that. Cars and buses can be converted to run on it, just don’t run out of it in the middle of nowhere. You can’t just carry it in a little red can. You would need a big, pressurized tank in your trunk. Natural gas produces much less pollution than gasoline or diesel, the bulk of the exhaust is water vapor.

Gore considers natural gas “respectable,” but calls it a temporary measure, and doesn’t endorse it. He is big on solar energy, which is getting practical, except for powering cars. Gore says his plan will only cost as much as the Iraq war. This very sweet, except we have no clue how we’re going to pay for the war! How we going to pay for his plan? Pickens is, like I said, a billionaire. He knows his nickels and dimes, and he knows we don’t have a lot of nickels and dimes to spare. Don’t let him fool you, he isn’t entirely altruistic, he sees profits! And that means his plan has a chance to happen! Natural gas should be part of the solution. Start with trucks and buses, then the family car. This can happen, and it can happen soon. The profits might go to Exxon, but isn’t that better than going to despotic foreign countries?

Offshore drilling is proposed. This, again, will keep profits in America, but it is a relatively small part of the solution. Environmentalists will cry, but offshore drilling hasn’t been shown to be a problem. So ignore them. It’s been said that it will take 20 years to see that oil, but that’s crazy. It doesn’t take 20 years to build an oil rig. It just won’t make much difference.

Nuclear power is attractive because of it’s reasonable cost and lack of pollution. But it is dangerous. A major accident could kill thousands. We have been operating these plants for 50 years without a major incident; (Drunken Russians haven’t had as much luck). Are we that good, or will our luck run out? Plus, President Dummy doesn’t consider it important to protect them from terrorists. The next President will be smarter, but will he be smart enough? And the issue of disposing of waste isn’t settled. Here the environmentalists are being really stupid. They won’t let us build decent storage sites, but the current system of on-site storage is very shaky. Get a life! Nuclear plants take time to build, you can’t just slap one up like a Wal Mart, so this would be a long-term solution, if anything.

But we have the best solution in our own hands. Use less energy. Insulate your house. Turn off lights, televisions, air conditioners, etc, when they are not needed. Hang clothes out to dry when the weather is nice. Dryers suck up a lot of energy, and you’ll get fresh air and exercise. Drive slower. I usually drive about 5 mph over the limit, (bad boy), but cars still blow by me like I was sittin’ still. They don’t realize that they’d save enough for a couple of lattes if they’d just back off of the gas a little bit. Use yout imagination. If you see energy being sucked up that doesn’t need to be sucked up, turn it off. Using a little thought will go a long way.

Barking at the Moon

2008-07-16T12:37:00.000-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

July 16, 2008

The Moon is getting full, and some primal instinct makes me want to howl.

John McCain is known for being weak on economic issues, and now his top economic adviser has shown himself a total idiot. Do you think $4 gasoline and record home foreclosures are all in your head? He does.
According to anecdotal evidence, the prevalence of drug testing is encouraging drug users to switch from Marijuana, which is detectable for weeks, to Cocaine and Meth, which disappear in a few days and are easily masked. If true, this is not a good trend.

Right wingers are trying to paint Barack Obama as a Muslim. He is not a Muslim, plus there is nothing wrong with being a Muslim. It’s wrong to be a murderous religious lunatic, as not only are some Muslims, but some of those “Christian” right wingers. How many senseless deaths have they encouraged in Iraq?

The Minnesota Senate race is real interesting. With all the Bozos already in Congress, they have a chance to elect an actual clown! Al Franken should campaign wearing a big red nose.

Jesse Jackson is a joke. He also should wear a big red nose. ‘Nuff said.

If cows are responsible for so much Global Warming, why isn’t Wisconsin tropical?

It took the FAA 14 years to figure out why airplanes blow up in mid-air, and now is giving airlines 10 years to fix it. Who needs terrorists?

Republicans accuse Democrats of being “Tax and Spend.” Republicans just spend as if they have a stolen credit card. We will never dig ourselves out of the hole they’re putting us in. Don’t believe for a minute that Republicans know how to handle an economy.

The candidates are courting the Hispanic vote, the Black vote, the Female vote, and the Youth vote. Being an old white man, I wanna cry.

Gays are getting married, in places like California and Massachusetts, as fast as they can. How long before we see gays on “Divorce Court?” That should be interesting, if not nauseating.

I don’t have anything against gay marriage, but it won’t be long before gays are against gay marriage. You folks are getting exactly what you wished for.

Dick Cheney’s little outfit, Brown, Root and Kellogg, is getting a reputation for electrocuting our soldiers. What a racket. Overcharging us on no-bid contracts, and doing shoddy work. Hell of a way to support our troops. It’s just supporting Cheney and his buddies. Supporting them very well, in fact.

Brett Favre wants to get back in the National Football League. Being one of the all time greats, it would be a shame if that stupid, stupid interception was his last professional play.

The men in the white coats want to put me back in my cage. Sleep well.

Let’s Be Rational About Abortion

2008-07-02T14:58:00.001-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

July 2, 2008

Abortion has become one of the most divisive issues in modern American politics. There are those that believe abortion should be available at any time, for any reason, and there are those that believe abortion should be outlawed, no exceptions. Most Americans are in between. Gallup polling has found that most of the United States citizenry, those at the center, believe in a right to abortion, but not without limits. Where can we set those limits?

Why not use the Constitution, and legal precedent, to set those limits? The Supreme Court has determined that the brain, and it’s functionality, determine a human’s life status. Those without a brain wave are dead, whether their heart is beating, or any other organ is working. Why not use this to determine a fetus’ right to live? Once a fetus has an operating brain, it is self-aware, capable of feeling pain. This is where it should be determined it has become human, and has an American right to live.

Research on this matter is sketchy, but a fetus develops the brain waves used in the Supreme Court standard somewhere between the 20th and 26th week of gestation, probably at the 22nd week. This would not eliminate a lot of abortions, but it would eliminate many of the most gruesome ones.

Only the most vicious of the Pro-Abortion movement would object to this determination, most on the Left Wing are kind and gentle, people that don’t even like to see a puppy in pain, much less a baby. And the Anti-Abortionists would get to see an end to third trimester abortions, a cause they have been promoting for decades. Win, win.

I am a strong believer in the Separation of Church and State, both for the sake of the Church and of the State. This may be a subject for a future post. I am also a strong believer in the Constitution, and the sensibility of the Supreme Court. Let’s keep the argument within those parameters. Thank you.

Let’s End the War on Drugs

2008-07-02T14:55:00.002-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

July 2, 2008

The War on Drugs is more damaging to America than the drugs themselves. Let’s end it, now. This is entirely a political war, as demonstrated when Janet Reno, then Attorney General of the United States, suggested we end this war. The Right Wing immediately shouted “Soft on Drugs,” and the discourse ended without any discussion of the merits of her arguments. As we have trouble locking up murderers, robbers, or sex criminals for any length of time because our prisons are jammed with drug offenders, this must mean these Right Wingers are Soft on Murder, Robbery and Sex Crimes. But then look at how many robbers they elect to office.

These people have an urge to baby-sit others, even if they don’t behave so well themselves. Drugs are bad, no question, but prisons are not good places to baby-sit users. They need treatment, not punishment.

Marijuana, for example, is a little stronger than coffee, and less addictive, but these loonies insist that it be illegal. They won’t even allow it for medical use! What business is it of their’s if somebody wants to catch a nice, peaceful buzz? It doesn’t even affect driving nearly as much as Alcohol, which I am sure they freely consume. (Minnesota is extending it’s bar closing time by two hours for the Republican Convention, being held in St. Paul this September!)

Instead of spending millions, if not billions, of dollars to enforce laws against Marijuana, legalize and tax the hell out of it. It would be income for the farmers, and would help fill our Treasury!

Other drugs should be looked at on a case by case basis, but users of even the worst ones shouldn’t be shuttled into penitentiaries, where they will be exposed to, if not instructed by, truly hardened criminals. Treat them in some manner that doesn’t make them fear and hate Police. Police should be someone that will help them through their trials and tribulations, not someone that will cage them up with cruel and unsavory people.

A Look at the Candidates

2008-06-24T17:56:00.000-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

June 24, 2008

Now that it is clear who the presumptive candidates for U.S. President are for the two major parties, moderates and independents have a hard decision to make as they step toward the voting booth. Unless they decide to skip voting altogether.

John McCain had been a favorite of moderates for years, but his recent butt kissing of the right wing base of the Republican Party has ruined his image immensely. He steadfastly supports the Iraq War as a just cause, claims it is succeeding, and has no qualms at the thought of stationing American troops there indefinitely. This position appears to have little support from moderates. He also supports maintaining tax cuts for high-income earners. This is a cornerstone of the “Trickle Down” theory that has not been shown to work even though it has had the support of three of the past four administrations. Give it up already!

Another concern of McCain’s candidacy is whom is he going to be saddled with for Vice-President? There are not a lot of other Republican moderates, and their names do not seem to be appearing on any short lists I have heard of. This is important, not only because Vice-President is increasingly becoming a stronger, more influential position, but also realize McCain is 72 years old, and has already been treated for a particularly deadly form of Cancer.

An issue that hasn’t come up, to my knowledge, is that if someone from the Bush administration were to be indicted for crimes while in office, McCain would likely bow to pressure and issue a pardon.

Barack Obama is relatively unknown. The Great Republican Lie Machine, as usual, has labeled the Democratic candidate the Most Liberal Senator. This is not true. There are many Senators more liberal than Obama, but no rational person is going to call him a moderate. He will get us out of Iraq. But, will he do it carefully? Or, will he leave a dangerous vacuum? Democrats have earned the reputation for handling the economy better. The gap between rich and poor grows slower when a Democrat is in the White House, and prosperity was a reality when a Democrat was in office. We did well when Kennedy and Johnson were in, Carter pulled us out of the funk after Nixon and Ford, and Clinton oversaw a great economy after the disaster of the elder Bush. No “Trickle Down” there! Food for thought.

But, here again, Vice-President is important. I hate to say it, but I fear for Obama’s life. There are people that do not like the idea of a mixed-race President, and some of them are well-armed lunatics. ‘Nuff said. Hillary would be a decent choice, would likely bring us better health care, and might help Obama get out of the Middle East without disaster. I really like Bill Richardson of New Mexico. I wish he was the candidate, but being a rational man of sound mind, he got little support from mainstream Democrats.

The wild card in all of this, from a moderate point of view, is that the country runs better when there is split in power between the two parties. Congress appears likely to remain Democratic. Do we want a Democratic monopoly? Would that be as big of a disaster as when Ultra-Republican Bush had a Republican Congress to rubber-stamp his lunacy? Impossible, but it could be close. Gotta think about that.

The good news is that we will have a better President than the one we have now. George W. Bush will go down as one of the very worst Presidents in our nation’s history. Let us thank our lucky stars it’s almost over.

Get Rid of Chief Wahoo

2008-06-24T17:17:00.000-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Mad Moderate

June 24, 2008

Sports team names and mascots based on Native American stereotypes are Un-American. I have a hard time believing that they still exist! No other minority is made to suffer this indignation; just imagine a team named the Japs, or the Jews, or any of the many nicknames given Americans of African decent. There would be an outrage from here to hell! What is going on here? Why is this being such a hard issue to resolve?

To me, the worst is Chief Wahoo of the Cleveland Indians professional baseball team. I am sorry, I am sure the players on this team are fine men, talented, and as deserving of a championship as any other players, but, I am happy to see them lose just because the logo on their caps and sleeves turn my stomach. Thank you, Red Socks, for eliminating them last fall.

Not all of the other nicknames and mascots are as bad, but all the same, Indians, Redskins, and even Sioux are all names given natives by European settlers, and not necessarily in a complimentary fashion. How about a team named the Fork-Tongues? With a big, white snake as a mascot? I wouldn’t like that, I don’t think a lot of people would.

Some of my closest friends are of native blood, and not all of them are in agreement as to what is an insult or what isn’t. One of them has no concern at all about an insulting caricature, he is still angry about his people receiving blankets infected with Smallpox. Some things are hard to let go.

I realize that there is a lot of tradition involved, and some very significant expenses would be incurred, changing everything from uniforms to school stationery, but come on people, get with the 21st century! Get rid of these insults.

Criminal Control, not Gun Control

2008-06-24T17:15:00.000-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

June 24,2008

The congressional delegation from the planet Neptune is trying to sell us on the idea of controlling guns. I am not much into slogans, but the bumper stickers tell it all: “If Guns are Outlawed, only Outlaws will have Guns!” I cannot believe how naive these characters are. For one thing, there is no way we’re going to get all of the guns rounded up, it would be like getting pee out of a swimming pool! Guns are all over, and anyone that’s ever been within walking distance of a lathe or a milling machine knows that guns are very easy to make. Any decent high school machine shop has everything needed to make a pistol that would work at close range.

Gun training is what we need. Anybody with a legal right to carry a gun should be trained. It’s a fact that a gun in the house is more likely to kill an innocent member of the household than it is to kill an intruder. This is because too many guns are issued to idiots! A simple lesson in gun safety would reduce these sad statistics an appreciable amount.

A lot of the problem is from gang-bangers that are just bozos that can’t hit a barn, just spraying bullets in miscellaneous directions. They are better at hitting bystanders than their actual targets. Would this happen as much if these clowns knew that someone that knows what they’re doing might shoot back? I don’t think so. There is a misperception that criminals are anything but cowards. A well-armed and knowledgeable society will be safer in the long run.

The plan, put forward by left-wingers, of all people, is that the government and it’s agencies are the only ones that can be trusted with guns. These aren’t the left-wingers I knew in the 70’s. Remember Kent State? The National Guard shooting students armed with a couple of beer bottles? And killing nothing but bystanders? These are the guys you want to have all the guns? There is too much crack being smoked in Washington.

This country is never going to be taken over, not by a foreign power, or a despotic government (after the seven years we’ve just been through, you don’t think that can happen?), because we are too well armed. Let’s keep it that way. Keep guns away from felons, but anyone else that wants a gun should have the right to get one, and carry it for their protection. But they must be trained. I don’t care who they are, anyone with a gun or rifle, even Vice-Presidents, have to know what they are doing. And have respect for what their weapon can do.

Just Who is Against Gay Rights?

2008-06-19T17:42:00.000-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

June 19, 2008

The concept that being gay is a choice is a load of crap. As a heterosexual I don’t see being gay as any sort of choice at all. Those that claim homosexuality is a choice do have a choice; between being gay, or pretending they aren’t gay, and hate themselves and other gays. These self loathing gays have a lot of internal struggles to battle, and occasionally the stress of this fight can lead to very aberrant behavior, much to the consternation of many an altar boy.

Why else do so many politicians that fight against the rights of gay people turn out to be gay themselves? They can’t face the truth about themselves. But once in while they give in to their true nature, and when they get caught they act like it was just a misunderstanding. They are the ones misunderstanding themselves.

Why on Earth would anyone choose to be gay? Disowned, despised, and how do they find each other when they are just a small percentage of the population? There are just so many airports with just so many restrooms. No, this is not a matter of choice. It is no more of a choice than being born with eleven toes. If the homosexual community would swallow some of their “Gay Pride” they might be able to avoid a lot of discrimination using the Americans With Disabilities Act.

Homophobia means being afraid of homosexuals. Why be afraid? Most of them are actually very nice people. Homophobes are afraid of gays because they’re afraid they themselves are gay!

Why fight gay marriage? If they want to be stupid and totally screw up their lives like straight people have been doing for centuries, why not? Why should gays be privileged and spared this torment? Some states give them “civil unions” while we’re stuck in very uncivil unions. What gives? I tried marriage once, and believe me, you alternative lifestyle folks don’t want it! Its not like I married a bad woman. She was bright, entertaining and attractive, and we had three bright, entertaining and attractive children, (good thing they took after her), but after time, even good things go sour, and the system for ending the contract causes the friction to get even worse! I’ve been in relationships that didn’t involve marriage (or children) too, and then it’s just a matter of booting her butt out and saying good-bye. That’s what gays have their whole life! That’s why bachelors were always called gay, even if they weren’t. They just didn’t have anybody to nag at them for not coming home in time, or not taking out the garbage, or for breathing, etc. I don’t know what we call bachelors that aren’t gay nowadays, besides happy and content.

So let gays get married, it’s a real learning experience. And if you know anyone that insists being gay is a choice, keep an eye out when they’re around children.

A Plan for Capital Punishment

2008-06-19T17:01:00.002-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

June 19,2008

As a political moderate, I have mixed feelings about capital punishment. On one hand executing people shows a great disrespect for life, which is what we’re executing the guy for in the first place. Also, it actually ends up costing more to put someone to death than it does to house him for the rest of his life. On top of that, capital punishment makes the guy a martyr, with people, even movie stars, protesting his death, instead of just letting him rot in a cell, despised or forgotten. Not to mention that some times the system screws up and kills the wrong guy. But in some cases, we just have to make sure we keep these creeps off the street. Until judges are selected for good judgement, instead of for who they know, or their fundraising ability, etc., we can’t guarantee these scumbags won’t be released.

In some cases, like the Dru Sjodin murder in northern Minnesota, I would like to flip to switch myself. I would even pay money for the honor. Then it hit me, what if someone with actual money felt this way? We could offset the cost of appeals and other costs of the exercise! Put the job of finishing off a killer up for bid, and we could make money with our criminal justice system!

Too bad Florida got rid of the Electric Chair. The Carlie Brucia case would make them some cash! Show the video of the thug grabbing poor Carlie behind the car wash, then show the film clip of their electric chair setting some criminal’s head on fire, and the phones would ring off the hook! Or Utah, they used to have firing squads! What would you pay to lodge a bullet in the heart of a psycho killer? Multiply that by six and it would be a small fortune! And if someone chickens out, (no refunds), there would still be five other people happy to pull the trigger.

But Utah, like Florida, went to lethal injection. Speaking of lethal injection, why do they use a three-drug cocktail of questionable cruelty when there are plenty of other drugs that are deadly? If they want to show young, impressionable people the dangers of drugs, why don’t they just shoot the guy up with Heroin and let everybody know that yes, the stuff can kill you? I suppose murderers would be lining up for enough horse to kill a horse. Or shoot him up with a bunch of Methamphetamine and film his reaction, show the world what it looks like to have three strokes and a heart attack simultaneously? Let the world know the government isn’t filling us up with a load of crap when it says drugs are bad for your health! But however it’s done, even lethal injection could bring in some money.

The problem with this plan is some states might get a little overzealous about getting rid of people. Look at how many poor saps George W. had offed when he was governor of Texas. And he had to pay someone to do it! Just imagine if he could parlay it into a reason to give his buddies tax breaks. Even jaywalkers would be in danger.

We just have to face it; our criminal justice system is too incompetent and corrupt to be deciding who lives and who dies. Besides that, the worst psychos are just plain sick, sick people. Murder itself should be considered a sign of insanity. Just put these disturbed individuals in cages, and keep them there. And give them time, a lot of time, to think about how they screwed up. Wouldn’t that be the sweetest revenge?

Anti-Family Court

2008-06-18T17:10:00.000-05:00

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

June 18, 2008

Last Sunday was Father's day, and the newspapers, as usual, were calling for fathers to be more involved with their children. If they were really that concerned, they would make a better effort to resolve what maybe the biggest roadblock to healthy father-child relationships.

Anyone that’s been involved with a Family Court knows that this system is set up for women. It is usually run by women, and it’s beneficiaries are women. There is no place in America where discrimination is so pervasive, and this discrimination is against men, and somehow that makes it okay.

Sociologists decry that fathers are not involved enough with their children. One thing that makes them hesitant to do so is the wife will suddenly decide she’s not happy, get a divorce, and the poor sap will hardly ever see his kids again. The system will search the four corners of the Earth to make sure they get the guy’s money, but he can search the four corners and not find anyone to help him receive his visitation rights. Just as the women want it. It’s not like he has much chance of getting custody; women get custody about eighty percent of the time. The women running the operation claim women are better parents. Women throwing their kids off bridges, drowning them in the bathtub, or hiding them by the freeway while she turns tricks. Excellent parenting.

The truth is that it is found that the parent with the better income is the best parent to gain custody. As men usually have the better income, this is seen as unfair to women. How about the children? Is it fair to them that their best shot at life isn’t even given a 50/50 chance? It doesn’t matter; the system is set up for women.

I was lucky. My ex-wife is a good mother, good enough to understand that her children needed their father in their life. I didn’t have any problem getting regular visitation with my kids. But that was due to the goodness of her heart, not any action of the Family Court. I’m speaking for all of the poor guys that made babies with self-centered “ladies” that use their children as tools to exact their revenge.

If anybody out there truly believes that fathers are valuable to their children, tell your Family Court.