By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate
January 26,2009
Do not read or send text messages while driving. Other than that, text away! What a fantastic method of communication; the impact of text is far reaching.
Once a person gets acquainted with text, the obvious advantages are convenience; you read and respond to text when you want to, no digging for ringing phones, and efficiency; text often works in places phone calls don’t. Also, if someone sends you a phone number, you end up with the number right on your phone, no need to search for pen and paper.
Less obvious is text’s potential to improve the English language. English is a mixture of several other languages, and has all kinds of weird rules and exceptions to rules, making things much more difficult than they need to be. English has slowly evolved over the years, but improvement has met resistance from anal-retentive types. I remember a newspaper column titled “Our Lively Language”, but the writer’s apparent mission was to make English as dead as Latin. And there are thousands like her. People that freak out if you put “I” before “E” after “C.” Why not just “I” before “E?” A much easier rule to reinforce. Just a few years ago, my child brought home a textbook that said plow was spelled plough! Maybe in jolly old England, but not in 20th century America! At that time, I had to explain that, on occasion, real life is different than what school tries to tell you. A tough but important lesson. If you ever used the word plough, people would wonder what pluff is. Or is it a ploff? Plew? Ploe? It’s the 21st century now, we need 21st century language.
I think text will speed up the process of making English more user friendly. Some of the habits developed during texting will spread to everyday use. Unnecessary letters will be discarded. Dumb will lose the dumb “B” and just be dum. Abbreviations will be bountiful, without a period in sight! Apostrophe? Wuts an apostrophe? The anal-retentive will lose control of their sphincters! (Sphincter will always be spelled sphincter.) Don’t like it? Tuff!
It does appear English is already compact; when looking at instructions in multiple languages, the English paragraph is frequently shortest. It can still be made more efficient. American English is already vastly different from pluperfect Queen’s English, and that is a good thing. The most powerful country in the history of the World should have it’s own language. The English don’t like change, Americans thrive on change; and figuring out how things should be spelled is a good change. Texting might help other languages, too. Do you think texters in France use the silent X? Do Germans capitalize every noun when they text? I have no idea how the Chinese text.
I butcher English with pleasure. If I butcher facts, I feel bad, I like to be factual. But English needs some serious surgery. So text, text, txt, and have a good nite.
Showing posts with label text. Show all posts
Showing posts with label text. Show all posts
Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday, September 15, 2008
Screaming at the Moon
By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate
September 15, 2008
The Moon beckons me to scream, and there isn’t any shortage of things to scream about. Let’s start with the U. S. Presidential race.
John McCain, a former moderate, is pulling out all stops to get elected. He has abandoned any sign of moderation in an effort to appease the extreme right. Scream.
You could search the Ozarks for a lifetime and not find a hillbilly more backward than his VP pick. The former beauty queen likes to hunt moose, and if she sees a stray dinosaur she’d probably plug that too.
McCain is 72 and has been treated several times for a deadly cancer. Sarah Palin would be the most stupidly extreme President in our history. Do the math.
Barack Obama would be almost as bad, but not quite. He’s extreme but not as stupid. I have to endorse him as the lesser of two evils.
Why, John, why have you forsaken us? There is no way you could seriously consider that pit bull in lipstick good for the country.
I’ve never been an alcoholic, but that may change.
Third party and independent candidates don’t have a chance, and even they aren’t all that pretty. There is no denying that Ralph Nader is insane.
Gotta face it, the cars in this race are a bunch of smoke blowing Edsels.
Another subject, please.
The deadly train crash in California appears to have been caused by an engineer that was text messaging. The stupid tend to take themselves out, too bad he took 23 others with him.
Anybody that thinks privatizing Social Security may be a good idea, take a look at the privatized Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac. Privatizing SS is just another Republican plot to shovel money to their buddies. Working people would get it up the dark side.
Federal laws encourage health institutions to dump excess drugs into the sewage system, where they can get into the environment and deform frogs and probably us. Chalk another one up to the right wing anti-drug movement.
Democrats will take more taxes out of your paycheck. With Republicans running the economy, you don't get a paycheck!
I’ve been screaming so much I’ve gotten hoarse. Count Dracula. The Mummy. Sarah Palin. Think about them then try getting some sleep. Good night.
The Extreme Moderate
September 15, 2008
The Moon beckons me to scream, and there isn’t any shortage of things to scream about. Let’s start with the U. S. Presidential race.
John McCain, a former moderate, is pulling out all stops to get elected. He has abandoned any sign of moderation in an effort to appease the extreme right. Scream.
You could search the Ozarks for a lifetime and not find a hillbilly more backward than his VP pick. The former beauty queen likes to hunt moose, and if she sees a stray dinosaur she’d probably plug that too.
McCain is 72 and has been treated several times for a deadly cancer. Sarah Palin would be the most stupidly extreme President in our history. Do the math.
Barack Obama would be almost as bad, but not quite. He’s extreme but not as stupid. I have to endorse him as the lesser of two evils.
Why, John, why have you forsaken us? There is no way you could seriously consider that pit bull in lipstick good for the country.
I’ve never been an alcoholic, but that may change.
Third party and independent candidates don’t have a chance, and even they aren’t all that pretty. There is no denying that Ralph Nader is insane.
Gotta face it, the cars in this race are a bunch of smoke blowing Edsels.
Another subject, please.
The deadly train crash in California appears to have been caused by an engineer that was text messaging. The stupid tend to take themselves out, too bad he took 23 others with him.
Anybody that thinks privatizing Social Security may be a good idea, take a look at the privatized Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac. Privatizing SS is just another Republican plot to shovel money to their buddies. Working people would get it up the dark side.
Federal laws encourage health institutions to dump excess drugs into the sewage system, where they can get into the environment and deform frogs and probably us. Chalk another one up to the right wing anti-drug movement.
Democrats will take more taxes out of your paycheck. With Republicans running the economy, you don't get a paycheck!
I’ve been screaming so much I’ve gotten hoarse. Count Dracula. The Mummy. Sarah Palin. Think about them then try getting some sleep. Good night.
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