Barking at the Moon

By Jonathan Bert

Moon, I’ve been a bad blogger. No posts for a month! I could give you a hundred lousy excuses, but I’m sure you’ve heard ‘em all.

A prominent moderate Senator switched from the Republican to the Democratic Party. Republicans are forcing any sign of moderation from their party. The shame is, politically, it might work for them. Democrats are profiting from embracing moderates, as their base isn’t loyal enough to carry them.

There still are only 99 Senators. The Minnesota race is going to a higher court, sure to go to another higher court or two. Franken is an extremist, and, should Coleman pull it off some how, he would be forced to the other extreme by his party. Franken most likely will be the winner, but moderation is sure to be the loser.

A friend was yelling at his cat. A neighbor called the cops on a domestic abuse. Nobody got abused until the cops came. The cops, among other things, threw a disabled woman to the floor. Justice is nasty in Polk County, Wisconsin. The cat survived unharmed.

A thirteen year old boy is refusing modern medical treatment for one of the most treatable cancers, due to his religious beliefs. He could choose to live, or try his luck with herbal remedies. Gotta wish the kid luck. If it works for him it would be fantastic. On the other hand, it might be a case of the stupid killing himself off before he could breed. Win, win either way.

Some bone head flew a copy of Air Force One over the Statue of Liberty, causing massive panic in this panic stricken World. For a photo opportunity! What, Photoshop isn’t good enough? Our government needs people that can think! Is this two administrations in row full of idiots?

I wonder if we’d be as worried about the journalist imprisoned in Iran if she wasn’t an exotic looking babe?

I have to part with my fellow moderates concerning the legalization of Marijuana. Pot is a little stronger than coffee, and slightly less addictive. It would be an estimated turnaround of 7 billion dollars if we taxed it instead of prohibiting it. A lot of the opposition is because smokers are afraid the quality of the product probably would decrease. Plus, making it legal would make it less fun.

I support gay marriage, but I am tired of watrching them kiss on the Evening News. Just let them get hitched and screw up their lives like straight people have been doing for centuries, and if anybody wants to watch the groom kiss the groom, they'll have to attend the ceremony.

Fishing season in Wisconsin! Time to catch and eat some cool, fresh, sea kittens. No broccoli to harvest here until September.

I celebrated a birthday a couple weeks ago. Didn't celebarate too hard, 56, whoopee. Yeah, let's celebrate bad knees, weak eyes and gray hair.

Sorry Moon, gotta go. I’ll be back next month, I promise.

Crying for the Sun

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

December 23, 2008

Winter is rarely a pleasant experience here in Wisconsin. This one is starting out terribly. It’s bad through the whole country, so it’s extra ugly here. The North Pole is getting warmer because it is sending it’s cold to Cheddarland.

The good news is that the Sun is coming back north! Last Sunday, December 21st, was the solstice, the Earth angled away from the Sun as far as it goes, and is now angling back. It will be a while before we see or feel a difference, but it is a reason for celebration. Historians contend that this event has been celebrated ever since the cave people first figured it out.

Some early societies considered the Sun a deity. You wouldn’t dare mention to them that it is just one of a zillion stars, and a rather puny one at that. It wasn’t that long ago, relatively speaking, that people were imprisoned or even executed for uttering such blasphemy. But it is my Sun, puny as it is, and I love it, and I am delighted that it is now headed home to me.

Apparently many of the holidays and holy days this time of year are linked to the solstice, whether anybody wants to admit it or not. These holidays are beautiful, and give cheer at a time when cheer is hard to find. I not only enjoy nativity scenes, Christmas lights, and New Years parties, but also Menorahs and other “decorations” of all the cultures and religions in this country. Atheists, instead of trying to ban all of these good times, should just figure out how to join the party! People that belong to religions that don’t allow a good party still have to be somewhat happy that light and warmth are returning; and if they don’t want anybody to whoop and holler about it, well maybe these folks should get a life.

A nasty winter is the last thing our struggling economy needs. Snow and ice are literally paralyzing. Heat sucks up a lot of consumer and business dollars, with a big portion of the money going overseas. Construction slows through most of the country, as does home sales, car sales, etc. It does help industries that provide goods and services that help us survive, and even attempt to enjoy, this mess, but not enough to offset the disaster it inflicts on everybody else. Overall, winter sucks!

Patience. In just a few months our toes will defrost. The butter on the counter will be softer than the butter in the ‘fridge. Skating will move indoors, and fishermen will no longer be able to walk on the water, and will start using boats. Spring and summer will return, bringing long days and warm nights. With a little luck they might bring some prosperity.

Barking at the Moon

By Jonathan Bert

The Extreme Moderate

December 12, 2008

The Moon is getting full again and I’m in the mood to bark.

I just moved, only seven miles, but it was still a pain in the ass. After living in the same place for 10 years, I’ve moved 3 times in the past year and a half. The way the job market is going my next move might be to a cardboard box.

America needs jobs. The Democrats are thinking like Republicans, bailing out the bigwigs instead of helping the little guys find jobs. People with jobs will pay their mortgages, pay their credit card bills, and buy new cars. These multi-billion dollar bailouts won’t do a damn thing. They want to give the car companies big loans, but they will still lay off thousands! That’s going backwards! Now the Republicans are looking good because they know a bad idea when they see one.

The Dems have a majority in the Senate, but it’s not filibuster proof. Hopefully everyone realizes what a blessing that is.

Illinois’ Governor just got busted for trying to auction off a Senate appointment! And there are other high power Democrats getting indicted. I might have to change my motto to Democrats are Crooks and Republicans are Clowns, or, let’s face it, they are all crooked clowns!

I’m trying to meet women that don’t drink, in Wisconsin. Do you know what that’s called? Lonely.

People in Wisconsin drink a lot so they can put up with the Packers.

NBC is going to move Jay Leno to 9 PM (Central Time). I need to be humored after the evening news.

Remember when people used to like Ladybugs?

A military jet crashed into a house killing two women and two children. F-18’s are fine machines, but they have no business flying over residential neighborhoods. Not in this country, anyway.

Gas prices are going down so now the SUV’s and overpowered pick-up trucks are coming out of the woodwork. I’m getting the impression Americans are slooow learners.

Winter is here in Wisconsin. Hell must be a cold place, nothing makes me feel more God-forsaken than a forty below wind chill.

New Mexico is losing a great Governor. Obama better put him to good use and not do what Bush did, ripping off Tommy Thompson then telling him to keep quiet.

I’m tired of barking. I’m gonna go out and bite somebody. Don’t worry, I’ve had my shots.