By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate
March 5, 2009
The Republican Party is in shambles, only the most delusional right wingers disagree. The worst part is that the party leadership thinks the solution is to go backwards, when they are already backwards enough. They all must be stealing Rush Limbaugh’s Oxycontins!
By my very subjective observation, there are more moderate Republicans than there are moderate Democrats, but the GOP in general persecutes their moderates mercilessly. John McCain got the nomination last fall, but only after standing there testifying how Republican he was, which instantly got him labeled as Bush III. The GOP has got to realize that their ideas have totally lost respect, but they want to continue with the same old ideas, only more so.
Take me to your leader. Who the hell is it? A fellow named Michael Steele was formally chosen as the leader, but a right wing radio “Shock Jock” is the real guy! Steele and Limbaugh butted heads, and it was Steele that blinked. What hope does the party have when the leader is a fat, pill-popping loudmouth? You can walk into any honky-tonk and find dozens of drunks that talk the same way, would you pray to them for guidance?
The first thing the party has to come to grips with is that, with all respects for the dead, Reagan sucked! He was a big disaster for this country. He came up with the “Trickle Down” economic theory, which is haunting us to this day. He ended fiscal responsibility in the Republican Party. He brought the “Moral Majority” into politics, even though, when you consider their disregard for the poor, they aren’t very moral, and by the numbers, aren’t anywhere near a majority. They are, however, very loud and annoying. And sexually obsessed, loaded with self-loathing gays and other perverts. Republican “values” have been found to be bankrupt. On top of that, he spent billions on a land based missile system that was obsolete before it left the drawing board. Then, when you think about the Iran-Contra deal, Reagan and his cronies probably should have been put behind bars.
Reagan’s big talent was using splendid oratory to lead the gullible down a primrose path while doing ungodly things to our country. Sound like Obama? Yes it does! The differences are a different primrose path, (there must be several of them), and I think Obama writes some of his own material. We have give the guy some time before we can assess Obama fairly, but Reagan, we know what he did. His damage was primarily ruining our economy and fouling up our foreign affairs. He is given credit for tearing down the Berlin Wall, but the Soviet Union self-destructed. Gotta give Ronny kudos for good timing, though.
If the GOP wants to go back, go back to the nineteen-fifties, to the last great Republican President. I like Ike. Eisenhower doesn’t get nearly the respect he deserves. The Democrats at the time tried painting Ike as unintelligent, mainly because they were putting an “Egghead” up against him. We’ve had eggheads before, and since, but none of them was very impressive.
Eisenhower was excellent. He was fiscally responsible, but smart! He spent billions on a system of “Interstate and Defense Highways” (we now call them Interstates), which were designed to evacuate cities quickly and to mobilize the National Guard, but had the plus of reducing air pollution and improving intestate commerce. Sound, sensible infrastructure spending. If Ike wasn’t brilliant, I don’t know who is. He wasn’t big on social issues, but back then nobody was. Even the Democrats didn’t care much about social issues until the sixties, (remember the “Dixiecrats?”). His foreign policy? “Don’t Mess With Us!” plain and simple, and he was strong and smart about it, not trying to find ways of funneling money to his buddies. And he did this with an opposing Congress! He warned us about the “Military-Industrial Complex,” but now the GOP is in the pocket of said complex!
The Republicans have to go back to being Republicans. Maybe they need another general. Can you imagine Tommy Franks apologizing to Rush Limbaugh? David Petraeus would send a mortar shell up Rush’s ass if Limbaugh messed with him. The GOP needs a real leader, not comic relief. Let us hope for the best.
I believe in the two party system, but right now we don’t have one. Either a new party emerges, or the GOP has to resurrect itself. Get back to actually practicing fiscal responsibility. Dump your phony “Family Values” crap and clean the perverts out of your system. Care about children after they are born. Fix yourself or we may be at the mercy of the extreme left for a long time.
Showing posts with label rnc. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rnc. Show all posts
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
A Guide to the Twin Cities of Minnesota
By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate
August 5, 2008
The Republican National Convention is coming to Minnesota! As a native of the area, (I was born in St. Paul, and have never lived more than an hour away), I’m going to depart from my extreme moderate ranting to give you a guide that you may find handier than the bullshit that will be handed out in brochures. St. Paul and Minneapolis are called the Twin Cities, but they are not identical twins. It’s hard to believe that they are from the same family.
Minneapolis is a small, but very metropolitan, city. It has a vibrant downtown, beautiful, tree lined residential areas, but, like any other large city, there are places you do not want to go. It is easy to find your way around, even though the downtown area is laid out at an angle. The Downtown is always this clean, and fairly safe. There is a bounty of good food and entertainment. There are lakes and parks everywhere you turn. If you like cities, this one is a gem. But watch out, don’t wander to the north. North Minneapolis and the first tier suburbs to the north are like pustules on a super-model. This is the area that earned the nickname “Murderapolis.” It is by far the most crime-ridden area in the whole state. The only legitimate reason to go to North Minneapolis is to look for crack. Other drugs are also available, including Oxycontin! Prostitutes? Well, yes, but you bozos have money, so pick those up downtown. Another thing to note: if you are not lily white, avoid Minneapolis cops, no matter what part of town you are in, or you will be sorry.
St. Paul, on the other hand, is an overgrown small town. Quaint, quiet for it’s size, loaded with beautiful old architecture, it has the refreshing, friendly atmosphere of a town one tenth it’s size. But you will get lost. St. Paul’s streets were laid out by paving crews following cows. Major thoroughfares just end without any clue which way to turn. The only roads that go all the way through town are the interstates. Walking, driving, taking the bus, allow extra time for getting lost, and, if driving, allow much more time to find parking. Is your cab driver running up the bill, or is he lost? There’s no way of telling. While you are lost, you may find yourself in neighborhoods that make your skin crawl, but there’s no particular area where you will be in grave danger. Unless you get so lost you find yourself in North Minneapolis. Also, avoid the Highway 52 bridge. This was a lemon when it was built. It’s been patched up more than a hippie’s blue jeans. I can’t believe it has stood longer than the 35W bridge. I don’t believe it will stand much longer. St. Paul is the home of the beautiful Como Park Zoo and Conservatory. Fascinating and inexpensive, it’s a don’t miss. Ask for directions.
And then there are the suburbs. Minnesota is full of cranky, independent people, and hundreds of them grabbed chunks of land around the cities and gave them names. Other than the first tier to the north, they are nice places, and very Republican. Just to the west of Minneapolis is a lake named Minnetonka. This lake is surrounded by high dollar settlements that are like a Mecca for those that worship money. When at the Xcel Center, the home of the convention, bow directly to the west. To the north of St. Paul is a community called North Oaks. This was a gated community before there were gated communities. You will never get away with going door-to-door for contributions here, though. Even Cheney would get hauled in.
There are too many suburbs here to cover in one lifetime. Bloomington has the Mall of America and the Airport. Shakopee has the Valley Fair amusement park. Apple Valley has the big Minnesota Zoo. Blaine has the huge International Sports Complex. Newport has the Waste to Energy Incinerator. It’s all here folks, and you are coming at a time the weather may be decent. Welcome to you all. Even W.
The Extreme Moderate
August 5, 2008
The Republican National Convention is coming to Minnesota! As a native of the area, (I was born in St. Paul, and have never lived more than an hour away), I’m going to depart from my extreme moderate ranting to give you a guide that you may find handier than the bullshit that will be handed out in brochures. St. Paul and Minneapolis are called the Twin Cities, but they are not identical twins. It’s hard to believe that they are from the same family.
Minneapolis is a small, but very metropolitan, city. It has a vibrant downtown, beautiful, tree lined residential areas, but, like any other large city, there are places you do not want to go. It is easy to find your way around, even though the downtown area is laid out at an angle. The Downtown is always this clean, and fairly safe. There is a bounty of good food and entertainment. There are lakes and parks everywhere you turn. If you like cities, this one is a gem. But watch out, don’t wander to the north. North Minneapolis and the first tier suburbs to the north are like pustules on a super-model. This is the area that earned the nickname “Murderapolis.” It is by far the most crime-ridden area in the whole state. The only legitimate reason to go to North Minneapolis is to look for crack. Other drugs are also available, including Oxycontin! Prostitutes? Well, yes, but you bozos have money, so pick those up downtown. Another thing to note: if you are not lily white, avoid Minneapolis cops, no matter what part of town you are in, or you will be sorry.
St. Paul, on the other hand, is an overgrown small town. Quaint, quiet for it’s size, loaded with beautiful old architecture, it has the refreshing, friendly atmosphere of a town one tenth it’s size. But you will get lost. St. Paul’s streets were laid out by paving crews following cows. Major thoroughfares just end without any clue which way to turn. The only roads that go all the way through town are the interstates. Walking, driving, taking the bus, allow extra time for getting lost, and, if driving, allow much more time to find parking. Is your cab driver running up the bill, or is he lost? There’s no way of telling. While you are lost, you may find yourself in neighborhoods that make your skin crawl, but there’s no particular area where you will be in grave danger. Unless you get so lost you find yourself in North Minneapolis. Also, avoid the Highway 52 bridge. This was a lemon when it was built. It’s been patched up more than a hippie’s blue jeans. I can’t believe it has stood longer than the 35W bridge. I don’t believe it will stand much longer. St. Paul is the home of the beautiful Como Park Zoo and Conservatory. Fascinating and inexpensive, it’s a don’t miss. Ask for directions.
And then there are the suburbs. Minnesota is full of cranky, independent people, and hundreds of them grabbed chunks of land around the cities and gave them names. Other than the first tier to the north, they are nice places, and very Republican. Just to the west of Minneapolis is a lake named Minnetonka. This lake is surrounded by high dollar settlements that are like a Mecca for those that worship money. When at the Xcel Center, the home of the convention, bow directly to the west. To the north of St. Paul is a community called North Oaks. This was a gated community before there were gated communities. You will never get away with going door-to-door for contributions here, though. Even Cheney would get hauled in.
There are too many suburbs here to cover in one lifetime. Bloomington has the Mall of America and the Airport. Shakopee has the Valley Fair amusement park. Apple Valley has the big Minnesota Zoo. Blaine has the huge International Sports Complex. Newport has the Waste to Energy Incinerator. It’s all here folks, and you are coming at a time the weather may be decent. Welcome to you all. Even W.
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