Thursday, April 9, 2009

Barking at the Moon

By Jonathan Bert

April 9, 2009

Moon, life has been crazy lately, a new job, another move, and maybe a new band (I’ll be playin’ Bass). But don’t worry, I’ll always have time to bark at you.

A Minneapolis police officer shot a man eight times, supposedly in self-defense. However, the gun found near the suspect didn’t have any fingerprints or DNA on it, and the weapon’s last known location was the police evidence locker. Murderapolis is getting so bad even the cops are getting into the act.

Speaking of police, how about that Dallas cop that wouldn’t let that guy see his dying mother-in-law, the poor guys wife needed comfort, but her husband couldn’t be there because he was being harassed. Any law enforcement officers that wonder why they are called pigs should watch the tape of the incident, and wonder no more.

It is unfortunate that all cops are painted with the same brush. Quite a few of them actually are human, but quite a few more of them use their badge to play hard-ass. They must have gotten too many wedgies in junior high.

President Obama’s aunt is being deported. Should Barack pull strings to prevent this? If he does, you know that the Right wing assholes will bitch like hell, but if he doesn’t, most will consider him heartless. If he’s smart, he’ll talk his aunt into moving someplace nice, like the French Riviera. Who can bitch about that?

Volcanos are blowing all over the place, devastating earthquakes are shaking things up, Antarctic ice bridges are breaking up, and North Korea learned how to shoot a rocket. I sure am worried about those stray asteroids.

Obama just spent some time wooing foreign leaders, doing everything but literally kissing butts. The guys sure seemed to like him, but didn’t give him much as far as troops for Afghanistan or economic stimulus packages. Face it dude, playing nice guy didn’t work with the Republicans, and it ain’t working with the foreigners. Next time, try waterboarding them into submission.

Iowa’s laws against gay marriage were overturned. Iowa? You would think the clamor there would be for interspecies marriage.

March Madness is over, maybe because it’s fucking April.

Defense Secretary Gates decided we should arm ourselves for wars that we are actually fighting. This new administration is already proving itself smarter that the previous one. Six years, and the Bush-Cheney brainless trust didn’t even start to figure that one out.

Moon, light my way through these uncertain times, but don’t keep me awake, I need my sleep.