Monday, September 22, 2008

The World Looks Flat in Alaska

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

September 22, 2008

Assaults on the separation of church and state are continually being made by the extreme right, and has been a cornerstone of Republican support since the Reagan administration. This matter is an important issue now that we have a Vice Presidential candidate that was picked largely for her appeal to the extreme religious right.

Hey, all of you flag raisers out there; separation of church and state created this great country! Ever hear of the Pilgrims? Probably the most famous of the early settlers from Europe. They were Christians! Fleeing other Christians! How about the Spanish Inquisition? Some of the most horrible torture devices of history were created by the Catholic Church. There is a reason that the time religion ruled Europe is known as the Dark Ages. Religion in power has never ever been a good idea. Holy Crusades. Those were a good idea. Not. Christian lunatics attacking Muslim lunatics. There are still some nasty grudges being held. You can’t even say crusade in the wrong company. Now most of the countries that are giving us problems are ruled or influenced by religious lunatics. Holding a holy grudge.

There are six billion people on this planet, with six billion religious philosophies. Christians, Jews, Muslims. They all worship the God of Abraham. Why can’t they get along? Because everybody has a snobbery about their beliefs, and even small differences in opinion is a sign of ignorance. Or evil. Label someone as evil and they are dead meat. Ask any drowned witch. Religion in power has always resulted in bloodshed and sorrow.

Who’s religion do you want to rule the country? Why yours, of course. What if someone with a different philosophy took over? Maybe a little different, maybe a lot different. The country still will not be run the way you want it. What if they want you to think just like them? And you don’t want to think just like them? Bloodshed and sorrow.

Power corrupts. Look at how many TV evangelists turn out to be nothing but con artists. Which one do you trust enough to run the country? Yeah, right. There is a sucker born every minute, and all you have to do is thump on a Bible and utter the name of God, cash just comes rolling in. It’s so easy. A very attractive racket. Attractive to anyone with a silver tongue and a taste for easy money. What kind of people do the gullible suckers that buy this snake oil launch into power? Example #1: George W. Bush. If that isn’t enough to scare you, what will? Sarah Palin, Maybe?

Studying polling, it appears most moderates in this country are Christian, and there are moderate members of other major religions. There are even moderate Muslims. However, few moderates appear to make strict, literal interpretations of their holy writings. Many moderate Christians also believe in evolution. If you have all of time in the Universe, why create the Universe in a week? But to people who aren’t so rational, we had dinosaurs roamin’ around just a few years ago. Sarah Palin is one of them. How would you like somebody that backward to be the next President after the next? John McCain is 72 and has severe health issues. McCain disgraced himself, doing exactly what he has accused others of doing, putting winning the election above what is good for the country. A man who once was a favorite among moderates just made himself Public Enemy #1. Once a believer in the Constitution, he now believes Karl Rove.

Democrats also make their assaults on the Constitution, with attacks on gun rights and free speech, but those aren’t likely to get anybody burned at the stake.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Screaming at the Moon

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

September 15, 2008

The Moon beckons me to scream, and there isn’t any shortage of things to scream about. Let’s start with the U. S. Presidential race.

John McCain, a former moderate, is pulling out all stops to get elected. He has abandoned any sign of moderation in an effort to appease the extreme right. Scream.

You could search the Ozarks for a lifetime and not find a hillbilly more backward than his VP pick. The former beauty queen likes to hunt moose, and if she sees a stray dinosaur she’d probably plug that too.

McCain is 72 and has been treated several times for a deadly cancer. Sarah Palin would be the most stupidly extreme President in our history. Do the math.

Barack Obama would be almost as bad, but not quite. He’s extreme but not as stupid. I have to endorse him as the lesser of two evils.

Why, John, why have you forsaken us? There is no way you could seriously consider that pit bull in lipstick good for the country.

I’ve never been an alcoholic, but that may change.

Third party and independent candidates don’t have a chance, and even they aren’t all that pretty. There is no denying that Ralph Nader is insane.

Gotta face it, the cars in this race are a bunch of smoke blowing Edsels.

Another subject, please.

The deadly train crash in California appears to have been caused by an engineer that was text messaging. The stupid tend to take themselves out, too bad he took 23 others with him.

Anybody that thinks privatizing Social Security may be a good idea, take a look at the privatized Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac. Privatizing SS is just another Republican plot to shovel money to their buddies. Working people would get it up the dark side.

Federal laws encourage health institutions to dump excess drugs into the sewage system, where they can get into the environment and deform frogs and probably us. Chalk another one up to the right wing anti-drug movement.

Democrats will take more taxes out of your paycheck. With Republicans running the economy, you don't get a paycheck!

I’ve been screaming so much I’ve gotten hoarse. Count Dracula. The Mummy. Sarah Palin. Think about them then try getting some sleep. Good night.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right (And Three Lefts Means You’re Lost)

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

September 3, 2008

Affirmative Action is in the news. Barack Obama's wife, Michelle, has been blowing mass quantities of smoke out of her behind, and doing a mass quantity of whining,
Affirmative Action being among the subjects of her belly-aching.

I am against discrimination in all forms, whether it’s racial, gender, creed, national origin or orientation. For this reason, I am against Affirmative Action. Any law or program that says you can’t have this job, you can’t enter this college, you can’t rent this house, because you are this or you aren’t that, is discrimination. Some people call it “Reverse Discrimination,” but it’s not. It’s just plain discrimination!

Two wrongs don’t make a right; didn’t your mother teach you that? Discrimination is bad, and still occurs, against minorities and women, etc. I wish I knew how to end it, but Affirmative Action is not the answer, it may even cause more hatred and resentment! And hatred and resentment are what we’re trying to get rid of!

One of the most stupid things to come out of this train of thought is relaxation of rules to become a firefighter. A restriction requiring that a firefighter be able to carry someone out of a burning building was struck down because it discriminated against women. Firefighters sometimes have to carry people out of burning buildings, but if your ass ever needs saving, you may be out of luck because your firefighter doesn’t need to! And the stupid thing is, many women are plenty strong enough to do the job, and a lot of guys aren’t. Maybe, on average, women are not as strong, but, to be honest, there are some women I will not lip off to.

When I was a young man, so many decades ago, a black doctor was amazing. He had to fight terrible odds and had to have extreme dedication and talent to make it. Now, you see a black doctor, you’re not sure he even qualified for medical school. That’s progress? Woman doctors, same story.

I travel all sides of the tracks, it makes life more interesting, and have met people that are as fine and upstanding as people can get, and am proud to know them. But I’ve also met people that are so fucked up they have a hard time standing up, they are just feelin’ fine. Law enforcers and criminals. Law enforcers that are criminals. People are so different it boggles the mind how varied the thought processes and behaviors of members of our species are. And it all has nothing to do with race, etc. Gender, maybe. There are organic differences between men and women. This plays out well for the preservation of the human race, (Viva la Difference!), but as far as law goes, this can get sketchy. Things like drug use, chemical exposure in the workplace, etc, for people that are, or may become, pregnant, must be addressed. It is a very special responsibility women have. It ain’t my fault! Okay, a few times, it was my fault.

We need to end discrimination, for the sake of our country, for the sake of our species. I wish I had the answers, but definitely, Affirmative Action is not the way to do it.