Just Who is Against Gay Rights?

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

June 19, 2008

The concept that being gay is a choice is a load of crap. As a heterosexual I don’t see being gay as any sort of choice at all. Those that claim homosexuality is a choice do have a choice; between being gay, or pretending they aren’t gay, and hate themselves and other gays. These self loathing gays have a lot of internal struggles to battle, and occasionally the stress of this fight can lead to very aberrant behavior, much to the consternation of many an altar boy.

Why else do so many politicians that fight against the rights of gay people turn out to be gay themselves? They can’t face the truth about themselves. But once in while they give in to their true nature, and when they get caught they act like it was just a misunderstanding. They are the ones misunderstanding themselves.

Why on Earth would anyone choose to be gay? Disowned, despised, and how do they find each other when they are just a small percentage of the population? There are just so many airports with just so many restrooms. No, this is not a matter of choice. It is no more of a choice than being born with eleven toes. If the homosexual community would swallow some of their “Gay Pride” they might be able to avoid a lot of discrimination using the Americans With Disabilities Act.

Homophobia means being afraid of homosexuals. Why be afraid? Most of them are actually very nice people. Homophobes are afraid of gays because they’re afraid they themselves are gay!

Why fight gay marriage? If they want to be stupid and totally screw up their lives like straight people have been doing for centuries, why not? Why should gays be privileged and spared this torment? Some states give them “civil unions” while we’re stuck in very uncivil unions. What gives? I tried marriage once, and believe me, you alternative lifestyle folks don’t want it! Its not like I married a bad woman. She was bright, entertaining and attractive, and we had three bright, entertaining and attractive children, (good thing they took after her), but after time, even good things go sour, and the system for ending the contract causes the friction to get even worse! I’ve been in relationships that didn’t involve marriage (or children) too, and then it’s just a matter of booting her butt out and saying good-bye. That’s what gays have their whole life! That’s why bachelors were always called gay, even if they weren’t. They just didn’t have anybody to nag at them for not coming home in time, or not taking out the garbage, or for breathing, etc. I don’t know what we call bachelors that aren’t gay nowadays, besides happy and content.

So let gays get married, it’s a real learning experience. And if you know anyone that insists being gay is a choice, keep an eye out when they’re around children.