Thursday, June 19, 2008

A Plan for Capital Punishment

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

June 19,2008

As a political moderate, I have mixed feelings about capital punishment. On one hand executing people shows a great disrespect for life, which is what we’re executing the guy for in the first place. Also, it actually ends up costing more to put someone to death than it does to house him for the rest of his life. On top of that, capital punishment makes the guy a martyr, with people, even movie stars, protesting his death, instead of just letting him rot in a cell, despised or forgotten. Not to mention that some times the system screws up and kills the wrong guy. But in some cases, we just have to make sure we keep these creeps off the street. Until judges are selected for good judgement, instead of for who they know, or their fundraising ability, etc., we can’t guarantee these scumbags won’t be released.

In some cases, like the Dru Sjodin murder in northern Minnesota, I would like to flip to switch myself. I would even pay money for the honor. Then it hit me, what if someone with actual money felt this way? We could offset the cost of appeals and other costs of the exercise! Put the job of finishing off a killer up for bid, and we could make money with our criminal justice system!

Too bad Florida got rid of the Electric Chair. The Carlie Brucia case would make them some cash! Show the video of the thug grabbing poor Carlie behind the car wash, then show the film clip of their electric chair setting some criminal’s head on fire, and the phones would ring off the hook! Or Utah, they used to have firing squads! What would you pay to lodge a bullet in the heart of a psycho killer? Multiply that by six and it would be a small fortune! And if someone chickens out, (no refunds), there would still be five other people happy to pull the trigger.

But Utah, like Florida, went to lethal injection. Speaking of lethal injection, why do they use a three-drug cocktail of questionable cruelty when there are plenty of other drugs that are deadly? If they want to show young, impressionable people the dangers of drugs, why don’t they just shoot the guy up with Heroin and let everybody know that yes, the stuff can kill you? I suppose murderers would be lining up for enough horse to kill a horse. Or shoot him up with a bunch of Methamphetamine and film his reaction, show the world what it looks like to have three strokes and a heart attack simultaneously? Let the world know the government isn’t filling us up with a load of crap when it says drugs are bad for your health! But however it’s done, even lethal injection could bring in some money.

The problem with this plan is some states might get a little overzealous about getting rid of people. Look at how many poor saps George W. had offed when he was governor of Texas. And he had to pay someone to do it! Just imagine if he could parlay it into a reason to give his buddies tax breaks. Even jaywalkers would be in danger.

We just have to face it; our criminal justice system is too incompetent and corrupt to be deciding who lives and who dies. Besides that, the worst psychos are just plain sick, sick people. Murder itself should be considered a sign of insanity. Just put these disturbed individuals in cages, and keep them there. And give them time, a lot of time, to think about how they screwed up. Wouldn’t that be the sweetest revenge?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

most of what you say is so true. with the corruption in today's world how can we trust the verdict of the court? I am aware of so many cases where evidence is found that proves that the person convicted of murder (in many cases) was just a victim of poor investigations and sometimes corruption. A person has to loose his/her life for a crime he/she has not committed is the opposite of justice. Is it worth killing these few for a greater cause? i think not because however small a life is a life.

great post! =)