Laughing with the Moon

By Jonathan Bert

The Extreme Moderate

February 25, 2010

Moon, you can laugh, you're a quarter million miles away. I have to laugh to keep from crying.

Obama, what a disappointment. We needed someone with tremendous skill and intelligence to get us out of the mess the Bush bunch got us into, and we get this character that can screw up a wet dream. This dumb-ass was elected to reform the financial system, but instead of financial reform, he's spending all of his time on health care reform and pollution control while Wall Street is still getting seven figure bonuses and the middle class is broke. You stupid shit head, get the country running on all cylinders and back to prosperity, your popularity would be incredible, then nobody, from Maxine Watters to John Boner (did I spell that wrong?) would dare to step out of line when you push your pet programs. Obummer.

Now we have the "Tea Party." I guarantee you that these clowns are not drinking tea. Anybody that thinks dingbats like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann make sense must be smoking crack with their bourbon. And they believe the "Birthers." Hawaii might seem nice, but it is still part of the United States. Remember how pissed off the U.S. got when the Japs bombed it? Duh!

The Republican Party IS the party of "No!" No compassion, no integrity, no ideas.

The Democratic Party is the party of "Moe," as in Larry, Curly and Moe. And Moe government!

I am impressed with the dignity W is displaying in his time out of office. Dick Cheney, on the other hand, is still the bastard from hell. A leopard can't change his spots.

Car Insurance must be one hell of a racket. They're damn near the only businesses that can still afford to advertise!

The rest of the ads are from lawyers suing drug companies. That is why I only do drugs that are not FDA approved!

The cops in Murderapolis were braggin' that there were only 19 murders there last year. The thugs must have felt 'dissed, the murder rate is back to normal, with seven just in January.

Sarah Palin writes notes on her hand. Hey, ding-a-ling, you're not in junior high anymore.

Raul Emanuel shouldn't call people "Retards," Democrats are supposed to be politically correct. Rush Limbaugh shouldn't call people "Retards," without retards he wouldn't have an audience!

Bailout? Hell, the best thing to happen to General motors is Toyota. Honda is having trouble, too. I guess cheap Japanese crap is still cheap Japanese crap. Buy a Buick.

A killer whale killed one of it's trainers. Maybe now some of these morons will figure how these critters got their name.

Those boneheads from Idaho, (where else?), were supposed to save orphans in Haiti, but none of the 33 kids they grabbed were actually orphans! These people were up to something shady. I don't know what they had planned for the girls, but I think they were going to sell the little boys to priests.

Moon, I can't laugh anymore, I'm going to start crying. Your laughter just makes it hurt more. I'm going to send my pennies, (all three of them!), to NASA to help buy another rocket to shove up your dark side.

We Are All Nuts

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

February 3, 2008

An eight-year-old girl answers the door to greet Santa Clause, and gets shot in the face. She soon dies. Santa proceeds to kill eight more, then himself. A three-year-old goes missing, is found dead months later. She was murdered, presumably by her own mother. A man in Australia throws his four-year-old daughter off a bridge; she plunges 190 feet to her death. A Vice-President and his puppet use falsified intelligence to get the country into a war we have no business fighting, killing hundreds of thousands of people, including 5,000 of our own. Millions of Americans are consuming tons of drugs and gallons of alcohol to feel good when feeling good is tough to do. I could go on and on forever, these are just a few sad examples.

Are these people criminal or insane? Everybody tries to draw a line between the two, and courts try to make a legal definition that still relies on the opinion of “experts.” The problem is that the Human species has not developed sanity. I don’t think we ever will. We are all nuts, some just a little crazy, and some totally whacko; it’s just a matter of degree. Murder is considered the most heinous crime; anyone that commits murder has to be playing with less than a full deck. Nazis are some of history’s most notorious murderers, did they impress anyone as being fully rational? They were consumed by hatred, twisted, boiling hatred. They were hanged, and they deserved it. Or did they? Maybe they should’ve gotten treatment. Hell no. It’s too bad we couldn’t hang the devils twice.

One thing that might help crazy people is to let them know they are far from alone. Anybody that claims that they never wanted to wring somebody’s neck is most likely lying. Nothing causes stress and despair like feeling alone. If somebody says something crazy, don’t make as if they have an incurable disease, talk them down, tell them they don’t have to do what the dog says. Tell them how you deal with your own crazy thoughts. If you think none of your thoughts are crazy, you have a problem, and need immediate help. If you take anything Rush Limbaugh says seriously, for example, you need to be permanently incarcerated.

Instead of a system of prisons and mental institutions, with “experts” determining who goes where, we need prisons, prisons with the ability to deal with mental health issues. Judges would set a minimum sentence, with the condition that the offender be declared “safe” before release.

So let’s not try to make a distinction between criminal and insane. Treat them all like criminals, or treat them all like nuts. Anybody can shop around and find an “expert” that will declare them insane, and prosecutors can find “experts” that will declare them sane. Psychiatry is not a precise art, simply because the difference between a sound mind and one that isn’t so sound is a very gray area. So relax, have a drink, maybe smoke a joint, and tell the dog he’s talking shit.