The Minnesota Senate Race

By Jonathan Bert
The Extreme Moderate

October 29, 2008

The Minnesota Senate race is one of the most watched electoral contests in the country, and sittin’ here in Northwest Wisconsin, I got a front row seat!

This three ring circus is a prime example of one of the biggest problems confronting our Democracy; the major parties are offering sub-par candidates, and the independent and third party folks are totally outspent, making their chances of victory very slim. Poor Minnesota is gonna get a shit sandwich without bread. The candidates cranking out negative ads one after the other is mind boggling and getting totally out of hand.

Incumbent Norm Coleman drifts with the wind. He started out as a Democratic mayor, became a Republican mayor, lost a gubernatorial race to a professional wrestler, then beat a last minute replacement offered by the Democrats for a Senate seat. When Coleman first entered the senate, he was one of W’s favorite lap dogs, but as Bush’s popularity waned, he’s taken a much more moderate path, and has actually been doing a decent job. He still supports the Iraq War, which has lost moderate support, but he is doing better than most Republicans on such things as the environment and health care. He is reliably anti-abortion. Can he be trusted to stay within striking distance of center? His history says probably not. Plus he loves the hell out of lobbyists. Many questions linger over his relationships with representatives of special interests.

Democrat Al Franken will never act like a moderate. He is left wing at all opportunities; his extremism strongly resembling Ted Kennedy’s. He has questions too. He paid taxes to the wrong states over a period of years. Overall, he was paid up, just had to get the money to the right jurisdictions. Then there is an issue with Franken’s corporation failing to cover it’s employees with workman’s compensation insurance. Is this guy some sort of slick shyster or is he just totally ignorant of financial law? Which is a better quality for a senator? People are crying about Franken’s humor. I’ve told a lot of bad jokes myself, and I’m sure you have, too. Get real.

There is an Independent party candidate. Dean Barkley is fairly moderate, socially progressive with some fiscal responsibility. He is seen favorably by almost everyone that has a clue who he is, and is currently polling a strong 18% with no real advertising budget. He was a senator, briefly, appointed by Jesse Ventura to fill the late Paul Wellstone’s seat until Coleman’s inauguration. Barkley is about as colorful as pavement.

So it is a lose, lose, lose situation. Does Minnesota re-elect the shape-shifting opportunist? Or do they elect the left wing clown? Do we want the Senate to be filibuster proof? Or do we want to let the Republicans continue to grind the Senate to a halt? All the while the independent candidate doesn’t have a prayer because hardly anybody knows he exists. Which eye do you want the sharp stick in?

P.S.: Anybody from Minnesota’s 6th district reading this? Get rid of Michelle Bachmann. She is a bigger embarrassment to the state than the Vikings!